a little of this, A Lot Of THAT

MONEY!!!!!!

2010-03-04T15:14:00.004-05:00

Yes!! I know everybody needs money well maybe a rich or comfortable person could read this message and tell me other then working the 40 + hours a week I work how can I make some money please let me know. I mean do I really have to be broke forever and a day or can I finally climb my black ass out of a recession that has been going on for the last 28 years of my life ( yes i am just 28 so WHAT). I need some LEGAL I repeat LEGAL guaranteed ways to gather some quick cash. I have an opportunity to add a part time (20 to 30 hours a week) job to my schedule this will ultimately help me increase the funds coming into my home, but I need start up money so that I can buy a few items to do the job. i.e. computer, software, etc. I will be a bookkeeper for a detail shop. This will give me extra experience for my job and it would be great for me. I also want to finish school online and of course need a computer for that. I am trying to help myself, but it is not working the way I need it too!! Somebody please help.

P.S. Just venting I wish somebody could or would help me i really need it. :-)

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

VENGENCE IS MINE SAYTH THE LORD

2009-04-24T15:24:00.003-04:00

Well as I am sure you all remember this and this. Go ahead if you don't remember and read the stories I'll wait. Well every dog has it's day and this fool has put his self in the position to get exactly what he deserves. When you have a chance go here and read this story it's good yall.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT IS SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY WHICH IS TOMORROW THAT DOESN'T COST MUCH MONEY? ANYBODY GOT ANY IDEAS.

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

I am apart of the living, sort of.

2009-01-26T20:10:00.005-05:00

Hey All,

Thank you all for the prayers, kind words, and advice. It was appreciated and most needed. I have spoken with my hubby and we have come to the agreement that he will not read my journal. I have personally will just not write in my diary anymore. I am glad that he is not aware of this site which is why I write without names.

In other news my job is a TRIP, but I am thankful that I have one. I went to the beach this weekend. We really needed to get away and it was GRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTT!! We really had a good time and I had a chance to just veg out and look at the water. It wasn't even all that cold we slept with the door open all night. It was a 3 hour drive that took us from 8pm till 3am. If you can't tell we got lost.

Theory of the day: Beggers: People or animals (cats, dogs, etc.) who request very strongly on a continual basis for any and everything.

My theory is that these people are made if you don't want them in your life then don't make them. You create the monster then can't deal with the consequences. You can't let people "use" you then expect them to try to make it on their own that is not going to happen. So in that case it is best not to start something you can't continue. Now I am not saying you don't help people every once in a while, but these are people who are trying to do things for themselves and just need help.

Okay so if you haven't figured it out I did that with someone close to me and now I just want them to leave me alone when it concerns money all together. I am sure somebody understands my pain.

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE HORRIBLE

2008-12-29T12:10:00.003-05:00

Where is a girl to start? I guess I will start with the horrible first and just go ahead and get it out of the way. On Friday December 12, 2008 I miscarried. This has not been an easy holiday for me. I wasn't sure if we would be able to handle another baby right now, but I was forming plans seeing problems and coming up with solutions and I was starting to feel better about it. I was really feeling like me and my hubby could do it. Apparently I was very wrong. I am really just going through the motions lately, and can cry at the drop of a hat, or just blank out. I took some time off from work. My boss and his wife just recently went through a miscarriage to so he was very understanding. I was only 9weeks. Everybody keeps saying what they think I need to hear and it honestly is pissing me off. I am angry that only my husband understands a little of what I feel and nobody else understands at all. I mean to me it's like I lost my child a death in the family I know it should not have been a funeral or anything , but I feel like I need some kind of closeure. Anywho, the good a while back I told everybody that my husband and I were going through a very hard situation that was causing a lot of problems in our family well it has finally been resolved. So that is one less headache for us both and for that I am truly thankful.

Okay now on to the BAD. I may just be trippin' it is possible, because I still have a lot of hormones running through my body. I just have this feeling that something is just not right we my hubby and I. I guess it could have something to do with the miscarriage, but we just aren't clicking and I don't know what to do to get "us" back.

Question of the day: Would you read a significant other's or spouses diary, and then get mad about some explicit things that your read?

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

What's going on?

2008-11-29T21:18:00.006-05:00

Okay Everyone,

Yeah I know I have been MIA, but a lot has been going on and it looks as though it may get even more crazy in the next couple of months. For instance, I got the job which is exactly what I have been wanting and def needing.

In other news I am pregnant. I have only told my husband who couldn't keep his big mouth shut and decided to tell his mother and sister.

Well with me being a new mother soon and all the stress at work I have been a BITCH to my husband. He was home for the holidays and just went back on the road a little while ago. She I am the one at home I of course am in charge of paying the bills will with our car insurance I was $50 off from the amount we had to pay and what I set aside to pay. Which means that I have $30 to last until my next payday which is not until the 23rd of this month. We both only get paid once a month so this is going to be a very hard month.

Anywho, I have been trying to control my anger and have not been doing very well. I am worried with the economy things in our household have been very tight. My daughter has also not been very happy lately. She recently turned turned 2years so as you can imagine she is going through the terrible two's.

Question of the day: " How do you apologize when you don't want to?"

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

Response

2008-07-31T13:38:00.003-04:00

I have spoken with hubby on several occasions. I know the reason for his insecurity, because that is exactly what it is. He had a previous relationship long term at the beginning of the relationship he worked in the city regular 8-5 job then after a couple of years he decided that he wanted to drive trucks. They discussed it he told them "her" that he would be driving out of town and asked if she could not handle him being away so much to end the relationship then and not wait until later. She advised that it would be fine and then 7 months of him being on the road later she couldn't take it anymore and ended the relationship via a dear john letter. So yeah he has trust issues, and I will admit that I do to and we have talked about it extensively and have a date to talk about it some more today. He claims he trusts me then we have a argument like Saturday and I know that he doesn't. Right now on his longer periods home is trying to find a job where he can stay home. Until then I know we have to work something out, because I just can't take this as is anymore.

Suprina,

You need to email me and tell me more about that 40 days of prayer, because I need it both me and my husband.

Everybody,

If you are looking for inspirational reading that uplifts your spirit andputs a sparkle in your day please visit SUPRINA's blog. She is having a 2 for 1 special and trust me the books are worth more than she is asking you to pay for them. Despite all of the drama currently in my marriage she has given me a lot of insight into how to make my marriage better.

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

Gimme a Break!

2008-07-30T14:21:00.003-04:00

As I was posting last night in a frenzy because I was pissed at the hubby and wanted to tell yall all about it and get some advice. I was just finishing the last sentence my daughter my lovely angel comes up to me and closes my screen. How she figured out how to do this at 22 months is beyond me so I ddin't feel like retyping all for the info.

Anywhoo the chick got the job and I knew would happen it hurt for a day and I will probably never be happy with how the situation turned out, but I am over it.

Okay on to me and my husband. Bottom line is he doesn't trust me and it has gotten worse since we have been married. It is to the point now where I feel like I have to guard my words for fear he will interpret the wrong thing form something i have said. I know I can't make him trust me and truly i don't even what to so how do I end the drama in our lives other then divorce. I refuse to get a divorce, but him not trusting me is a BIG deal..

I will give you an example of his level of mistrust: Just a little background info first my husband works driving trust and is only home 3 weekends 3 a month. So this was his work weekend. i told him I was going to get my hair done and it would take approx. 6 to 61/2 hours. My husband loves me to wear my hair in a wrap style, but sometimes I like something different so I decided I wanted to get some micro's (anybody who has ever had them before knows they can take anywhere from 6 to 13 hours depending on how fast the person braids and how small they are and how big your head is) Now I told my hubby three days before I was set to get my hair done that I was getting my hair done by someone i didn't personally know but I had seen her work and knew you would be able to do what I want at a reasonable price. Hubby came up with all types of excuses for why he didn't think I should have my hair done by her. (i.e. I don't know her, back part of town, she could have traffic in and out of her house, boyfriend could be running drugs, etc. ) I told him I had my mother check it out, because I knew the girl through on of her friends and I was going anyway. He accepted this with much attitude. Okay Saturday gets here and he calls 3 times in the space of 4 hours. After about six hours into my hairdo T asks me what time it is I pull out my phone and it has turned off. So I turn it back on and immediately it is ringing. He is cussing me out talking about it doesn't take this long to get hair done, and I am having sex with some nigga, I didn't have to lie, and so and and so forth. All the while the phone is hanging up because the battery is dead. Finally I cut the phone off on my own and when she finishes my hair and I leave I turn it back on. He calls this time apologizes saying he thought about it and I must be getting Micro's and why didn't I tell him like the whole incident was my fault.

Since then things between us have been strained to say the least. I am just at the point where I just don't know what to do. We have only been together 3 months, but I think we ( as in him) need to have counseling. Our marriage is not going to handle the strain of another incident like this.

Question of the day: HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

TIME!

2008-07-21T15:03:00.002-04:00

Have you ever noticed that when you are waiting on something that you really want time seems to stand still at a pace that even a turtle could surpass? On the other hand when you are having the most fun in your life it all seems to go by so quickly most of it seems to be a blur of never-ending activity. Well right now waiting to hear about this job is killing me. I want a decision ASAP so that I can move on with my life. Even though I am 85% positive I am not going to get the job, it is hard to shake that 15% because I really want it. Since the possiablility still lingers that I can get the position it is making it hard for me to forget about it and concentrate on more important things.

In other news I am very angry someone has stolen my daughter's earrings out of her ears. The reason I know this is because they are the safety earrings that she can't take out even if she wanted to and they are missing. I can't believe someone would steal from a child of 22 months what in the world is this world coming to. It pisses me off and If I happen to find the person he had the audacity to steal from my baby I will beat the shit out of them and deal with the consequences later. It's not like they were expensive, but it is the principal of the issue.

Well this is the end of my post because I really didn't have time to write this but I needed to share my frustration.

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

Tell me what you think

2008-07-14T16:04:00.004-04:00

Hey fellow bloggers,

I have been speaking about a job that I have applied for here in my current section. Anywho I had an interview last week Tuesday. I went into the interview knowing that most likely I would not get the position. I am not quite qualified yet, but I still had high hopes because I am the only inside person applying for the position and I am very talented (I am humble but since you really don't know me I have to tell it like it is so you can understand where I am coming from) smart and ambitious. So I went to the interview and it went good for the most part then came the end of the interview. I was interviewed by my current supervisor. So he said this " I don't want you to be discouraged if you don't get the job. I understand that you want something with more of a challenge and in the next coming weeks we have several positions that are coming open that may be more suited to your level of experience. I also wanted to let you know that I have recognized all of the hard work you have put in. I love the level of imitative that you have shown and hope to be able to reward you with a monetary increase in the near future. You are one of the top two or three people that I feel deserve an increase and I plan to do what I can to get you one. " Now of course this was not word for word but it is basically what he said. So I took it to mean that I did not get the job.

In other news my angel is allergic to mosquitoes. It is itching her so bad she has already been to the doctor twice. What is a mother to do when her baby is hurting? My husband and grandmother are making progress. She is talking about him again and speaking to him. Also yesterday at church (we haven't picked a church home yet, but we go to both of our parents churches for the time being) the past prayed for us and took time out to talk about some problems we have been going through (not with our marriage) and it really helped us both.

Question of the day: From what I told you what do you think about my chances of getting the job?

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

SUP?

2008-06-01T00:59:00.003-04:00

I have had a very interesting weekend. The most important thing that happened is that my brother graduated from high school, it was very exciting, and also a little sad. As most of you know if you have been reading my blog my grandfather was killed last year, and he and my brother were very close. It was very hard on him because he was like a father to him me too for that matter. As you can imagine not having him there for this time was very heartbreaking. My brother goes to a small school only 13 graduates so when all the kids went up to get there diploma they got approx 2minutes of a pre-recorded speech they could give, and my brother spoke about our grandfather. There was not a dry eye in the house. Everybody was crying. Like I said it was sad, but good. I am so proud of him he just recently got he first job, because he had so many after school activies he has never had a job before so this is a big step for him. I just feel like he has so much promise right now and can't wait to see how his future turns out.

In other news I have been working my but off at work. I have been there two Saturdays in a row. There are several reasons for this.

I have applied for a job, for which I really want. It would be a 30% percent increase in pay. So not only do I want it we need it with the price of gas.
I want to challenge myself more at work. I have been doing everything possible to obtain more skills to make myself more marketable. When I get bored I tend to leave my job, and not only am I bored, but I am not liking the office politics.
I am a type A personality, and the people at my job are lazy so the work that is falling by the way side I have been doing and I love the extra praise it is giving me.

While most of these are good reasons it has made me sort of a grouch, because I am tired. I also know that even though I am doing all this extra work I may not end up with this job and that will really piss me off and hurt my feelings. I know I am really sensitive you don't have to tell me :-) As I am sure you can imagine my new attitude is not to my husband's liking so I will have to work on that can't have a tiff just yet I am enjoying all of this honeymoon sex. :-)

Last but not least my grandmother and I are making progress. She is still not speaking to my husband, but we are getting along so that gives me hope that eventually everything will be as close to okay as it can be.

I guess I will stop boring you with my life.

Question of the day: How can you tell that all your hard work is for nothing?

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

P.S. HEY EVERYBODY I FIGURED YALL THOUGHT I WAS GONE BUT GLAD YOU ARE BACK. I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE MIKE AND KYRA I BELIEVE IT WILL ONLY TAKE ABOUT ONE MAYBE TWO MORE POSTS TO FINISH. WEEKENDS, I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR BLOG, I HAVE JUST BEEN TOO LAZY TO COMMENT.

MIKE & KYRA PART VIII

2008-05-26T22:43:00.003-04:00

Kyra then jumps into the driver's seat and backs up in a mad dash to get away. As she is pulling off Mike tells her to stop he suddenly sees B coming out of the house running towards the car. B then jumps into the back seat and Kyra pulls out onto the main road as quick as she can. "Yo Mike can you do me a favor, hand me the first aid kit under the passenger side seat? B said. Mike turns around and looks at B when he hands him the first aid kit and notices the blood on his leg. "Man you been shot we have got to get you to a hospital." Mike says this while trying to direct Kyra to the closest hospital using hand signals. "No Mike I don't need a hospital that is the first place they will send someone looking for us anyway. It's just a flesh wound. " B said. "Just drive we need to dump this car and get another one apparently I did not loose that car following us like I thought we did." B said this while picking up his cell phone and dialing the only person he could trust. It was the only person beside Kyra that he has know for as long as he could remember.

"Dom look I need a favor quick fast and in a hurry where you at?" as he pauses in the conversation he begins to write down directions to the location of Dominic. "Okay we will be there in like 20minutes. Kyra these are the directions. Don't go too fast though cause the police are Hot like fire in this area. Mike we have got to keep an eye out for anyone following us. Bringing heat to Dom's place can get everyone killed. That nigga don't play." While B/Jackson was talking he was cleaning his wound as much as possible with the supplies he had. The bullet had went on the outside of his skin, but the blood had already stopped.

"Okay B since you don't have to concentrate on the road how about you start telling us what is going on?" mike said he did really want to know what was going on, but he wanted to make sure that B was okay whatever his game was he was apparently not trying to hurt either him or Kyra. "Alright man, look I have known Kyra since we were little she came to me about you and told me what was going on. I know yall thought that her stepfather was dead, but as you can see he is not. When she told me how you helped her out I was glad, because that was one sick nigga. I wanted to kill him myself, but you got to him first. Plus Kyra didn't really tell me everything he was doing till after the fact. Anyway you know that I met you on the bust you did about 2 years ago. At the time I did not know who you were, but since you seemed cool and I could tell you had a lot of connects well I just figured it would be a good idea to be friends with you. Being in the FBI drug division the connects you have are sure to come in handy again. Once I realized who you were I really wanted to make sure to get to know you better. When you came to me with that shit you wanted to do to Kyra I realized that the only way to stop you was to "help" you. I had already been helping Kyra she told me why she wanted out even though she still thinks that you love her. The only reason you are here is because I haven't had time to kill you yet, but trust if you even think about hurting Kyra the way you have been over the last couple of months I will kill you and trust me YOU will be DEAD when I get finished with you. Just to let you know I haven't told Kyra yet, but I know where you little extra dough is coming from partna." As Jackson finished explaining his self he set back on the seat cushions even though the injury wasn't life threatening it still hurt like hell.

"Look Jackson, I know I have been wrong okay I knew that when I realized what daddy dearest was doing, but I have changed my ways. I also know that neither you nor Kyra will believe me, but I hope Kyra will at least give me a chance to prove myself. Kyra baby you don't look to good are you okay? Mike said while looking at Kyra who looked like she was about to be sick. Then Jackson got a chance to get a good look at her and noticed that she really did look bad. "I haven't been feeling well for a while and all this excitement has not been making it better Mike I am going to pull over to the side of the road so you can drive. Just as she pulled over she barely had time to open the door before everything she had eaten this morning was on the side of the road. Mike was gently rubbing her back and holding her hair thinking to himself. Damn Kyra has never been sensitive even when we thought we killed her stepfather she took it like a champ. I know she is pregnant now and I have to get her and our baby to a safe place. As Kyra finally felt certain that she was finished emptying her belly she began to slide out of the car into the passenger seat while Mike helped her. If this fool ever finds out I am pregnant he will never leave me alone. I just don't think I can trust him ever again. I have got to keep this pregnancy a secret. Now how am I going to do that .......

Words of the day: I have a hard enough time posting the story so my proofreading sucks. I know hope you enjoy.

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

MIKE & KYRA PART VII

2008-05-21T19:57:00.002-04:00

After hearing the door open and close, suddenly Mike and Kyra hear someone whispers Kyra. Kyra looked out from behind the bed and saw that it was Jackson before Mike could stop her she was alerting Jackson as to their presence. “Jackson thank God it’s you, please tell me you have a way for us to get out of here.” Kyra said.

As Mike heard Jackson speak he realized he heard that voice before climbing out from under the bed he finally got a good look at Jackson and realized that he had been double-crossed. “What the fuck why is she calling you Jackson B?” Mike said. “What is really going on here?” “How do you know him Kyra?” Mike said that while pacing the room. He was made as hell.

“Look Mike and Kyra I can explain, but right now we don’t have much time we need to get out of here fast.” said B/Jackson. “I put some of those nigga’s to sleep, but some of them will be waking up soon.” B then began to rush both Mike and Kyra out of the room. He went out the door first looking to the left then right to make sure nobody was in the hallway. After making sure he didn’t see anyone he gave a gun to both Mike and Kyra. They finally made it out to Jackson/B’s car and before Mike had closed the door good the car was off and running. Unfortunately, they did not see the car that was following behind them.

“Yo call the boss man tell him where we are let him know that we are following that bitch.” said Mikey. Mico then picked up the phone and called the boss letting him know they were following the girl. “Well you better not lose her because if you do you better make sure you can disappear because if you don’t and I find you, you will be dead.” boss man said before hanging up the phone.

“B, trust you have a lot of explaining to do, but in the mean time tell me where are we going?” said Mike. “To a safe house, it is the only place that I can keep you safe.” said Jackson/b. “I don’t trust you to do shit for me, I need you to take me and Kyra to my car and I will get us to safety.” while talking was getting more and more upset, finally he takes his gun out and points it at Jackson/ B’s head.

Moving Mike’s hand wrestling with him with the gun Kyra screams “Both of yall need to call down we are being followed. Now is not the time for all the drama. I think it is the guys that kidnapped me from work.”
Jackson/B then proceeds to try to lose there followers. After 1 hour of weaving in and out of traffic going down one lane streets and going outrageous speeds they finally lose there followers and end up at the safe house. “Yall, wait in the car I’m going to check the house out.” B/Jackson said while getting out the car. Just as Jackson/B gets into the house shots ring out….

MIKE & KYRA PART VI

2008-05-17T01:06:00.003-04:00

" Look just tell me what the Fuck you want so we can leave. I hate your ass always have always will. I will never understand what made my mom stay with you, but I can't even stand the sight of you." Kyra said while trying to wake Mike up.

"Look Bitch I thought you got the point the first time you are not leaving here unless it is in a body bag. " Black said while lighting his blunt. "I just need one thing for you or you would already be dead.

"What makes you think that I would give you anything especially if I know you are going to kill me anyway?" Kyra was finally successful in waking up Mike while talking with Black. Using pressure on his arm she tried to convince him to pretend to be unconscious. I want us to live there has got to be away out of this situation. My baby shouldn't die, because I made a mistake. How is this motherfucker still alive. I shot his ass more then Tupac.

"Your going to help me because I have an incentive, something that I know you will die for." "Yo cricket bring in the surprise. This bitch probably still think she will be saved. " Black then began to pace waiting on cricket to come. After a couple of minutes passed and he did not hear cricket coming he called on his walkie talkie, but did not receive a response. What the fuck I can't reach anybody. Cricket, taj, keisha, jay, balls. Fuck, fuck, fuck. "I be right back." Black said as he was walking out the room. He then closed and locked the door behind him.

"Mike baby are you okay can you stand are you hurt?" Kyra said while trying to look him over for any injuries.

"I'm fine just a little dizzy, I'll be okay in a minute. " "So what is going on I was there that motherfucker should be dead." I can't believe what I almost did to Krya in a way I am glad that this happened to stop me from kidnapping her. I love her, but her bitch ass daddy is just the reminder that I needed that that love needs to be mutual. It will definitely be hard to let her go though. Damn she might be pregnant. How in the world am I going to tell her that?

"Mike I know he locked the door, but I am not sure that is the only way out. You see that window up there. I know it is kinda far, but I think we can make it. Do you think you can make it?" Kyra said while trying to position furniture near the window so that they can claim up and out the window.

"Yeah I am fine now once we get up how do we get down on the other side?" Mike said. "I know we are at least on the second floor. How about instead of going out the window we make it look like we did and ambush them when they come back into the room." If we do make it out of this alive I don't want to do anything that will endanger our child.

"Okay we can do it your way, because we are actually on the third floor so that is too high to jump. Help me move the furniture. "

As they were just getting everything in place they heard someone coming they both began to pray knowing that if this didn't work all three of them could be dead.

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

My Grandmother!

2008-05-17T00:49:00.003-04:00

In order to talk about the present I have to explain a little about my past. I was raised by my grandmother mostly I went to live with my mothers mother at the age of about 4. She has raised me and my brother. I love her to death. I live with her till about age 11 then I moved in with my father's mother. Then back to my mother. It was a lot of moving, but the place that felt like the most home and was the most stable was with my grandmother. She loves me I know and I love her too, but do to all of the disappointments she has had in her life she is very very very much a controlling person. As you can guess my grandmother and I are closer then her other grandchildren I'm not a favorite, but we spend more time together and act more like mother and daughter. For the most part it is a good relationship, but when I happen to do something that she doesn't like well then she uses her money to try to control the situation.

Anywho now to the present. My husband and I got married at the justice of the peace Grandma did not like that she wanted us to marry in a church on a date of her choosing. So because of this she is writing me out of her Will. Truly I don't care about the money it's the principle, she believes that I have made a bad decision at this point I believe that she wants me to have a bad marriage. Her words were she will never mention my marriage again, whether it be bad or good. I know I should leave it alone and I will, but I have always sought this women's approval and it just never seems like I get it. I know she is upset about the how and when, but it's done. I just needed to talk about the situation. It did make me feel a little better, I guess it was just to much to ask for a happy family.

Question of the day: Can you divorce your whole family then court another? Do you think one day we should be able to pick our parents?

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

PISSED!!

2008-05-05T19:54:00.003-04:00

Okay first things first I passed both of my classes, but I wish I had done better in my Accounting class. I mean I passed with a C but I have always been a A/B student plus I am a type A personality so a C just doesn't sit well with me. I did get a A- in my public speaking class so that made me feel a little bit better.

Second I did get most of my money, but not all and now you guessed it I am broke. I mean literally. All my bills are paid, but I need some money.

Third I HATE MY JOB. One of the people I work with is leaving for a different job and I want her job. I should have the first choice, because I have the time on the job since I have been there for a while. She is a temp a new temp at that so why is my supervisor training her to do the job. I mean taking her to meeting and having her work with the girl that is leaving giving her the information to do the job. I think it is completely unfair that he is doing this. I want/need this job. I have worked my ass off for over two years at this job and this is the thanks that I get.

Anywhoo I have to VOTE tomorrow can't wait. Nothing exciting to say married life is a little boring but a good boring. I love my husband so much.

Question of the day: How long does it take for the newness to wear off? I hope never I am already looking into things to keep it juicy as little Wayne would say.

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

PAY DAY! MAYBE?

2008-04-29T23:04:00.004-04:00

I get paid once a month it is always seems to take forever for me to get paid. This month we are using a new payroll system different departments were placed on this system at different times and well it has been a disaster at least the first couple of months. I tell you this to say that I will and I mean will go the FUCK off if my money is not in my account in the next 53 minutes. Yes I am up at 11:07pm and will be up till 12am just to make sure my money is deposited as it should. See I am one very broke sister. No matter how much we budget throughout the month with the price of everything and I do mean everything raising it never seems to make it past the third sometimes second week of the month. Just pray for me as I will for you because our economy sucks and is getting worse by the day.

Anywhoo, I hope everyone is going to vote no matter who you are voting for please please VOTE!!!.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: I am only 27 years old and I find myself thinking of the past as the better times. So I am wondering like me do you miss things like the Cosby show, the wonder years, saved by the bell, gas at approx $1.50 a gallon, salt n' pepa, and just a simpler time when you didn't have to decide food or gas?

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

Test!

2008-04-28T21:40:00.004-04:00

So lately I feel like my life is one big test. I was recently married and now I feel like I am being tested on whether or not I can be a good wife. This test is not coming from my husband, but from his family and mine. Then he is being tested of course to make sure he will be a good husband. I wonder is this an ongoings test that you only pass after death or at some point do they trust you.

My other test well this is my last week at school for this semester. So I had a test today and my last one is on Wednesday. School has been kicking my butt. I mean being a mom is a 24/7 all by itself add work, husband, me time and well I am tired. It has been worth it though, because in the end I will be able to get a much better paying job.

In other news my job is still crazy Dory has an assistant now and she is basically doing all of her work. Dory might as well stay home for all the work she does. People are leaving left and right at my job in the last year alone I believe that of a crew of 15 we have lost 5 people. Ah well some are missed, if only because there replacement SUCKS!!!!

Now to the down side to my recent marriage me and him are actually doing better than ever, but my grandmother is Highly upset by our union. We eloped and she was not happy about that. I tired to explain that it was about us and we didn't want to wait any longer. She is barely speaking to me and that kind of hurts my feelings. She has always been controlling and judgemental, but since the death of my grandfather it has gotten worse. I think he mellowed her out a little. Hopefully she calms down a little.

Question of the day: How do you deal with your in-laws or your significant others family? I ask because my husbands sister is a BITCH and I a
m trying not to kick her ass. Help!!!

HEY BARNEY

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

MIA!!

2008-04-25T14:55:00.002-04:00

I know that probably nobody even reads my blog now since I have been MIA for a very long time, but between work, school, my angel, and STBH I just haven't had a chance to blog. I have been keeping up with other people's blogs though so I have stayed in the no. Well today I have big news for everybody. Drum roll please

STBH and I are getting MARRIED. Yeah!!! I am excited, nervous, and READY. The butterflies are going to kill me seriously. My work Mom just had me list all the reasons why we want to get married and it kind of had me teary eyed because we have been through so much and to finally get to this point. It has been amazing.

In other news their is a position coming open at my job. I want it really bad, but my supervisor is the type to have someone he thinks should have the position and just go with them. That's what he did for me. :-) It was good then, but it may not work out so well for me now. It would be a nice increase though if I could get it. I hope so cause I need it.

School will be over next week. I have a final on Monday then one on Wednesday and then no more until August. I def need the break. Right now I am just so ready to leave work. I am suppose to leave at 3:30pm to go get ready for our 6pm ceremony, but time is going by so slow. I feel like it is going backwards.

Question of the day: So to all the married/divorced people out there how did you feel on your
wedding day?

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

YES WE CAN!!!!!!

2008-02-12T11:10:00.000-05:00

I was interested in the race of 2004. I was ready for change, but I was not sure of the candiates that we were offered. I am involved in the race of 2008 becasue we NEED change. Our future looks bleak. The current president has not made a change for this nation that we so desperately need. I believe that Obama can. I have not felt so passionate about a person/candiate before. I have never believed as much as I do now that he can make a change for our country if elected. I have links below to serveral different websites that will give you more information on this candiate. I understand others may feel passionate about another canidate which is fine. I really believe though no matter who your canidate is you need to VOTE we will not be heard until we make ourselves heard. One nation, one voice, YES WE CAN!!!

YES WE CAN SONG

BARAK OBAMA WEBSITE

REASEARCH, MAKE A GOOD DECISION FOR YOU, THEN PLEASE PLEASE VOTE!!

EVERY VOTE COUNTS!!

SMOOCHIES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

It's been a while. Did you miss me?

2008-02-02T17:31:00.001-05:00

I hope you did cause I missed all of you. I have been checking other blogs all the time. Especially Sylvia Hubbard's blog. I just recently got internet at home and will be able to post more becuase big brother is watching at work. They have installed camera and everything. I am also a part time student. So with the baby, STBH, work and school I am completly busy. I will try to write soon.

Question of the day: Have you been keeping up with the primary? If so what are your thoughts? I am a democrat and I really want Obama, but am afraid that America will not elect an african-american president. I guess I just want to hear from the people out in blog land about what there opinions on the subject are.

Some Closure

2008-01-10T16:43:00.000-05:00

The BOY who killed my grandfather has been arrested today. He was only 16 years old, and in the 9th grade. I just don't understand what the world is coming to. I don't even know how to feel. I am not happy, because it does not bring my grandfather back.

Praying for Strength,

Carmel Beauty

Hello All!

2008-01-07T13:02:00.000-05:00

First and foremost please please go to Sylvia Hubbard's website and read her new live story. It is good. She has a way of making you fall in love with the people. Read it it is good I promise.

Second, well I know I was suppose to finish Mike and Kyra's story and I will soon I promise life has just been so hectic. I will get to it though really soon.

Third, yesterday me and my STBH had an amazing day. It was perfect as days go. I haven't been that happy in a long time. With all the drama going on in my life recently I needed that. We weren't doing anything spectacular by any means, but the moments in time to me are priceless. I just wanted to tell the world that I am going to marry the best man in the world for me. We have problems, but when it comes down to the come down we got each other's back. Love is priceless if you are fortunate enough to have it hold on to it and never let it go.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Wishing you a Merry Christmas!!

2007-12-27T16:49:00.000-05:00

All things considered this christmas was very good. They had a vigil at my chruch last week for my grandfather. It was nice I did not want to go at first, but after the fact I was glad that I did. It gave me a sense of peace. My baby was showed some love this christmas not that she needed to much more toys, but hey she was happy so I was happy. Then my mom got me a DVD player which was nice. It made me laugh it stays in the car though I be damned it someone steals anything else from me. :-) Work is boring it's like only four people here until the 2nd of January. I have like nobody to talk to and tons of work I don't want to do. Well it's time to go home and since I do want to do that I will say

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Coming Soon to a Computer near you!

2007-12-18T09:14:00.000-05:00

Sylvia Hubbards new live story starts in January! To join in on the ride that is sure to be the best to date click HERE to sign up for email notification. You will also be able to get a sneak peak at the new book.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

BREAK-IN

2007-12-07T11:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my home, my place of peace was turned into a place of dread. My humble home was broken into yesterday. There were only two things taken during my break-in one was valued at $30 the other was priceless. To someone who will probably remain forever nameless and faceless my security which is priceless to me was worth a DVD player. Truly what exactly is the world coming to? My home was destroyed, I have glass, and clothes everywhere. My love seat is turned over they even when through the baby's room searching. I mean if they were watching my home they should be able to tell that we are not rich at least not with material possessions. I was just starting to feel safe again after my grandfather was murdered going to get his mail and then this has to happen. How much is one person suppose to be able to take. I am really being tested, what I don't understand is why?

Yesterday I wanted to buy a gun. I was all ready to go on my lunch hour today to apply for my gun license. I understood with all my mind, body, heart, and soul what made T.I. feel like he needed to have guns in his home with silencers and infrared beams. I looked at my daughter and thought I would kill for her I thanked the Lord for making sure my family was safe and tried to make all the thoughts of revenge in my mind go away. The anger I have been feeling will eat away at my soul if I let it. I am trying not to, but I am losing patience.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Violence

2007-11-28T14:26:00.000-05:00

My thoughts for the day I don't have much time, but I have been hoping and praying that they catch my grandfather's killer. I want that man to suffer. I thought about the death penalty, but in the end I felt that was too good for him. I think that we need to come up with those punishments that they have for people in other countries where crime is at a much lower rate. On house last night one of the Doctors said that death is easy it's the living that hard. Truly it is when you think about it. I mean yes I believe in God and I know that there is a Hell, but I want my vengeance now. I bet people would think twice if they know that when they were convicted of murder, rape, molestation, the truly violent crimes against people that either the surviving victim or the closet family member would get to choose there punishment. To me it would give me a sense of justice let a jury of there peers decide if they are guilty but I want to give them the sentence.

Question of the Day: What do you feel are suitable punishments for murder, child molestation, rape, & attempted murder ? If it was decided that a person would get the death penalty I believe they should die in the same manner as the person they killed. One more question umm do you think I'm crazy? .......... I will wait while you think if your answer is what I think it is then

SO

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Did you miss me?

2007-11-26T12:04:00.001-05:00

I first want to say THANK YOU to everyone for all the love and support. It has truly been a hard time for my family. I am still having nightmares and I am so scary I sometimes want to slap myself. Everyday it gets a little easier and I know the pain will never go away, but hey.

Enough about that I am reading this great story by Sylvia Hubbard called Drawing the line promised to tell ten friends and hopefully I can get the three people who read my blog to check it out.

Mike and Kyra will be wrapped up before the end of the year I promise I have another story idea just wanting to present itself.

My comments for the day are about R. Kelly. I want his lawyer truly I do. I also think that any publicity he receive whether it is good or bad is good for him and I think everybody just needs to stop talking about him. If he did what he is being accused of then they need to put his ass under the jail with a big dude name smalls. If you know what I mean. All this talk about him and Ne-Yo people ain't got nothing better to talk about I am Tired of hearing about it. Why don't people talk about the LOOOONNGEESSSTT trail in American History now that is a story.

Question of the day: Do you think R. Kelly would like it if somebody peed on him?

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

taking a mini vacation

2007-10-29T12:18:00.000-04:00

My mind is just not in the right place right now I have so much anger in me that at times I feel I may explode. At other times I feel afraid I need to work on these things before I can return to posting only a week or two break but if you want to know why I feel this way go to the link below.

My grandfather

Praying for Strength,

Carmel Beauty

Life or something like it!

2007-10-11T10:56:00.000-04:00

Hey Everybody,

Sorry I have have been MIA I hate it when my fellow bloggers do that, but it could not be helped. My little Angel turned 1 on 10/09 so I have been busy being a first time parent spending more money then is necessary on a party she will NEVER remember. Also I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but when I went into labor with my daughter my sister in law was also pregnant and when she came to visit me. Guess what she went into labor and had her baby HOURS before I had my angel. So guess what I was one PISSED person that day. Anywho me and the sister in law do not get along never have and probably never will. Well needless to say everyone wanted to throw there parties on the same day and my gut told me to say NO well I didn't listen and the party did not make my angel happy. She is always just about ready to cunk out after day care because she doesn't sleep well with others in the room she is just to nosy. Anywho she cried almost the whole time. Now for a little more background information the Mama STBH mama treats her grandchildren differently. For instance she has four grand kids one is me and STBH the other four are the sister in law's. Me and STBH called her the other day and she told us she wanted to spend time with her grand kids so she went to pick up the other three. Mind you she has NEVER come to get my baby and spend time with her. So you know that the party was not my favorite. She bought my precious prissy little girl who did not even want to get cake and icing on her hands a little boy motorcycle. I mean it is red and blue and has peddles this for a little girl who just took her first steps 2 months ago. But the other little girl she bought a little pink and green bike without peddles that can be pushed from behind. That is just one of the ways that tried to play my baby that day so needless to say I was ready to open a can of whup your motherfucking ass before I left.

In other news have you heard about the boy shooting up the school. This is just too much I am such a worrier and I don't know how I will be able to send my daughter to school when the time comes I have a problem sending her to day care now.

Question of the day: We have a new lady in our department who is annoying and just a little off. This chick is so bad they through a party for her when she left her other department. Am I destined to end up working with the dumbest, most annoying, ungrateful, unable to do anything for themselves, lazy, and crazy people in America? If so do you think I could plead bad luck in my defense when I crack the fuck up and go postal on everyone?

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Yes it's ALIVE!!!!

2007-10-08T10:48:00.000-04:00

This is going to be short and to the point I'm extremely busy today also my life right now is boring. I want to finish the Mike and Kyra story up in the next two weeks then start another also my next major topic will be concerning prisons I think. It's something that has affected a major part of my life throughout the years and I really want to get a feeling for how everybody else view the system. Let's see other than that remember I was telling yall about my situation with getting this job how everything was going to change well I have covered two hurdles. One I have found a new daycare for my angel she starts on Nov. 1 and two I have found affordable health care service for her. So my last hurdle will be to find an apartment/ preferable a house for rent that I can afford. I have till February which is really right around the corner. I miss everybody nobody comments anymore, but I do see that I still have lurkers. Well I gots to go.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

BTW if anybody has been watching Desperate Housewives please catch me up on what the HELL is going on with Edie didn't she die last season?

LAUGH!!!!

2007-09-26T08:40:00.000-04:00

">WATCH THIS VIDEO AND LAUGH A LITTLE AT BEYONCE' COMPETITION!!!!!

SMOOCHIES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

JENA 6

2007-09-20T09:51:00.000-04:00

I have already written a post dedicated to the JEAN 6, if you have not read it please do so at this time. Remember this is not a battle against black & white it is against INJUSTICE of all kinds. The fight does not end here. This fight began a long time ago and today shows just one of the many times we have fought against injustice. So everyone black, white, yellow, & etc. remember "IF YOU DON'T STAND FOR SOMETHING YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING."

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Thank You & TMI Tuesday!

2007-09-18T08:59:00.000-04:00

Good morning everyone,

I don't have time to post much but I wanted to say thanks for all the congrats and advice. Much appreciated!!! Now on to TMI Tuesday.

1. What is one thing a your significant other could do to you to rock your world? Well he is almost perfect, but I would have to say that I would like to experiment more. I also agree with Weekends more massages would be greeeeaaaaaaaatttt!!

2. Which super power (ability to turn invisible, ability to read people's thoughts, or invulnerability) would you take and why? I want Phoebe's power from charmed. I would love to know peoples thoughts and if they are telling the truth or not also know the future would kick ass to. Throw in the power to levitate and I am good to go.

3. Would you rather be tied up or tie someone else up? Why? I would rather be tied up. STBH would never let me tie him up which is good I don't want to be dominated, but I wouldn't at ALL mind being submissive.

4. What is your best physical and non physical asset? Physical would be my DD's. non-physical would be my sweet personality.

5. If they were naming new Dwarves beyond the seven what would your name be and why?
insatiable (if you don't know why guess)

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!

2007-09-14T08:06:00.000-04:00

I SCREAMED WHILE DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!!!!!

So my bad day turned out to not be as bad as I thought it was. I mean I got the job so my interview couldn't have been that bad right? Anywho, I have been super busy trying to get my office together sign all the new paper work. Life has just been a big mess for me. My daughter also potentially has another ear infection. If she does she will be referred to a Ear specialist. The thought of her going through surgery is scary, but the thought of her being deaf is worse. So all my praying people just pray for our family. Also the situation I mentioned in a previous post about me and STBH having an issue should be coming to a head at the end of this month beginning of the next. So please just pray for our family we are going to need it in the next coming month.

My new job seems like it will be something that I will like. I love working here I just need someone to come in and help me during the day. I need the help seriously I have so much work to do I don't even have time to type this up. Also due to my increase in salary I have to do the following:

Move (Due to my new economic status we make too much money to live here)
Find a new Daycare ( Due to my new economic status I would have to pay $209.00 a week for her current day care)
Get health insurance for my Angel ( The insurance through my new job is $159.00 to 259.00 a month depending on the coverage I choose)

So after all the changes we have to make I will actually have less money at the end of the month, but I have job security and an opportunity to go back to school. STBH and I will both be going back to school while my granny watches the baby on nights we are both at school. The next couple of years will be hard, but well worth it. The thing that makes it all worth it is in the end I will have a beautiful healthy well rounded daughter, and a loving caring supportive sexy husband by my side. STBH and I talked about it and have decided to address the most pressing issues first then the less and just take everything one day at a time. Hopefully by January or Summer of next year STBH and I will be in school.

Question of the day: I thought because we decided we both want to go back to school that STBH would agree that now is not the time to procreate again we need to wait till we finish school (I only have two more years to get my degree.) Do you know what this fool said, and I quote " you can take online classes." Why can we agree on some many other things, just not this? Do you think he would be mad if he found out I have been taking shhhhhhh... birth control pills don't tell

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

MIKE & KYRA PART V

2007-09-10T08:39:00.000-04:00

"Open your eyes Bitch" said a very familiar voice to Kyra. "I know you not sleep as you want me to believe." stated her kidnapper.

"How are you alive? I I I kil-led you." said Kyra. "You tried but obviously you didn't succeed, but when I kill you trust you will be dead." he said. Kyra then heard someone scream really loud before she passed out.

On the other side of town Mike is pacing in front of Kyra's office waiting on her to come out. After the last time he made a scene in her office he wasn't allowed to go in. Not that he really gave a fuck, but he also wanted to catch Kyra by surprise. Today is the day.

I will put my plan in motion, I know that once all is said and done she will see that my way is best. I know she will be with me then. It is already 6:30pm Kyra should not still be at work what is keeping her.

Ring! Ring! "Sup?" says Mike. "Something is wrong? I called her office, homegirl left for the day at 5:45pm." states B. "What the Fuck?I have been out here waiting on her to show since 6pm. Where the fuck could she be? I am going to go to our house and see if she is there. " said Mike. "Ok, I am going to check around the way, this is strange she had plans with me today. She should have gotten in touch with me a long time ago. Something ain't right. Hit me back if you hear anything I will do the same." said B then he disconnected the call.

Getting into his car Mike goes to the house. Once he parks his car in the garage and sees that Kyra's car is not there he is sure she is not there as well. As he is about to start the car and back out of the garage he hears something that sounds like glass break then he sees the light of flash lights. Mike then grabs his 9mm from under the seat checks to make sure it is loaded with one in the chamber, and slowly proceeds to the house. Mike starts checking the downstairs first. The garage door lets him into the kitchen as he is walking he notices the disarray of the house cabinets open and everything has been dumped on the floor. Walking from the kitchen to the dining room, to the foyer he sees the front door open. Thinking the intruders have left he lowers his gun just as he is about to put it in his holster he is hit from behind with the but of a gun.

When Kyra comes to the first thing she notices is Mike in the room with her. She can't tell if he is alive or dead. She kneels down to check is pulse and notices that he is alive just unconscious. "Mike baby, please wake up?" she says while gently shaking him. "Mike please I need you baby wake up? she notices him start to move so she continues to gently shake him to help him awake. "Kyra what is going on? Where am I at?" states Mike.

Suddenly Kyra kidnapper opens the door and states "That's a good question I will be happy to answer it for you? " ....

I will try to write more before the end of the week.

Please comment and let me know what you think.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

My Day!!

2007-09-05T20:15:00.000-04:00

It all began in the court room. I had to go to court today again from my car accident. (check previous post if you don't know what I am talking about) Anywho, the ASSHAT DA told me I could continue my case, but since it had been so long 1 continuance already I had to go to court with the police officer the next time and either plead guilty or not guilty. Little FUCKER I didn't have the money for the court costs so what the FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK was I suppose to do.

In other news I got to work about 40minutes late. The guy who would be my supervisor if I got the job I applied for back in June asked me to come to his office around 10am today he needed to speak with me for approximately 30-45mins. My first impression was what did I do wrong. He told me nothing and got someone to watch the phones for me. When I get there guess what he does? If you guessed that he began my interview you just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. (JUST JOKING) Anywho, I think it went well even though I was caught off guard A LOT. At least I didn't have the opportunity to get nervous. I will know by Friday if I got the job. ( I will keep everybody posted)

Right now angel face is trying to help me type and it is not working. I may post more tomorrow.

Question of the day: Was my day good or what? No really I want to know your opinion.

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

Touching My Heart

2007-08-31T14:30:00.000-04:00

I usually don't post twice in one day but I have too. I need everyone to read the following story and PLEASE sign the petition:

In a small highly segregated rural Louisiana town of Jena in September 2006, a black student asked permission from school administrators to sit under the shade of a tree commonly reserved for the enjoyment of white students. School officials advised the black students to sit wherever they wanted and they did. The next day, three nooses, in the school colors, were hanging from the same tree. The Jena high school principal found that three white students were responsible and recommended expulsion. The white superintendent of schools over-ruled the principal and gave the students a three day suspension, saying that the nooses were a youthful stunt. Black students decided to resist and organized a sit-in under the tree to protest the lenient treatment given to the noose-hanging white students.Racial tensions remained elevated throughout the fall.

On Monday, December 4 2006, a white student who allegedly had been racially taunting black students in support of the students who hung the nooses got into a fight with black students. Allegedly, the white student was taken to the hospital treated, released, reportedly attended a social function later that evening. As a result of this incident, six black Jena students were arrested and charged with attempted second degree murder. All six were expelled from school.

The six charged were: 17-year-old Robert Bailey Junior whose bail was set at $138,000; 17-year-old Theo Shaw - bail $130,000; 18-year-old Carwin Jones--bail $100,000; 17-year-old Bryant Purvis--bail $70,000; 16 year old Mychal Bell, a sophomore in high school who was charged as an adult and for whom bail was set at $90,000; and a still unidentified minor. On the morning of the trial, the District Attorney reduced the charges from attempted second degree murder to second degree aggravated battery and conspiracy. Aggravated battery in Louisiana law demands the attack be with a dangerous weapon. The prosecutor was allowed to argue to the jury that the tennis shoes worn by Bell could be considered a dangerous weapon. When the pool of potential jurors was summoned, fifty people appeared, all white.

The jury deliberated for less than three hours and found Mychal Bell guilty on the maximum possible charges of aggravated second degree battery and conspiracy. He faces up to a maximum of 22 years in prison. The rest of the Jena 6 await similar trials. Theodore Shaw is due to go on trial shortly. Mychal Bell is scheduled to be sentenced July 31. If he gets the maximum sentence he will not be out of prison until he is nearly 40. THE MESSAGE:· As Chairman Julian Bond stated, "This is an American outrage that demonstrates the continuing shame of racial division in our country. Join us in making it one of the last."

· In light of the circumstances surrounding Mychal Bell's case, we urge all concerned citizens to support the call for a new trial.

· It is unacceptable to selectively enforce the law based on race. Prosecutorial discretion should be used in a fair and equitable manner.

· The Jena Six should be tried by juries that reflect the racial and ethnic demographics of Jena, Louisiana.

· The hanging of nooses is not a "youthful stunt" or "prank." It is a hate crime. Such hate crimes should not be tolerated at any school. Jena High School must establish a curriculum which promotes cultural sensitivity and understanding.

· The NAACP calls on Louisiana Governor Kathleen B. Blanco and Louisiana Attorney General Charles C. Foti to thoroughly investigate and monitor the trials of Mychal Bell, Robert Bailey, Jr., Theo Shaw, Carwin Jones, Bryant Purvis and John Doe. The Governor and State Attorney General should do everything in their power to ensure that these young men's constitutional rights are protected.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS IMPORTANT MATTER!!!
If you have any questions, call Angela Ciccolo at the National Headquarters at (410) 580-5777

This is wrong very very wrong as a united people of every race please let us stand up and fight against this injustice.

Praying for peace,

Carmel Beauty

Pass the Word YA Heard!!!!!

STRESSED THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-31T09:28:00.000-04:00

That describes how I feel to a T!! Yesterday at work (by the way my home life is going okay right now for the most part) Dory came to me and asked me if I was going to be busy today. Apparently her supervisor and mine until I get this new job if I get it told her to ask me with help on a project she is working on. Now dory claims she does not have time to do her work, but takes off every Wednesday and talks to several people throughout the day A LOT. Me being the person I am even though I have plently of my own work to do decide to help her but only for yesterday and because I am trying to make a good impersion so I can get this new job. She told me the WRONG thing to do so I give up. All day yesterday everybody said I had a grit face and asked me what was wrong. My supervisor that asked me to do this in the first place as me if I need some caffine or somebody to lay hands on me. I work yall all day from the time I get here till the time I leave and I am still behind, because I am doing the job THREE people were doing by MYSELF. Don't nobody help me with my duties. I am sick and tired of this bullshit. If I don't get this stupid fucking job I am going to go the FUCK off on everybody!!!!!!

Okay I am done for now with my rant. In other news I thought everybody had forgotten about my short story. I will write another entry this weekend I promise MUM.

Question of the day: Does anybody know how to assemble an assualt rifle or make a bomb? I'm just curious it could be useful information one day :-)

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

BORED!!!

2007-08-27T12:33:00.000-04:00

I am so bored right now it is pathetic it's not like I don't have anything to do I have tons of work I just don't want to do it. Help!!! I have nothing to write today I can't get interested in anything. I am not going to bore yall two so I will post more either later today or tomorrow.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Dummies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-24T12:23:00.000-04:00

I work with a bunch of DUMMIES!!! Not everybody, but one in particular then when you name her you think of about 4 more. It is truly ridiculous. I mean Dory I have told you about her in a previous post where I don't remember, but anywho. She reminds me of bugs bunny because when you tell her how to do something (mind you this lady makes way more then I do and has been here way longer then I have) she says something to the effect of "W-W-What do y-y-you mean?" People will not tell her stuff just so they don't have to spend HOURS explaining the same thing over and over for her to still NOT understand anyway. I mean she is a nice lady but that does not get the work done I need done right. Now you all know the saying you can't teach and old dog new tricks well shit you can't teach her old tricks. I am trying to make this office more efficient for everybody benefit and my sanity. It is not working. If you don't hear from me in a couple days that either means I'm in the loony bin telling my therapist that she made me do I just couldn't tell her how to open the L drive not one more time I mean Doc you got to understand I said it about 20 times please don't send me away forever I will never strangle another person I promise as long as they don't ask me the same question more then twice, or I will be in jail trying to act all hard while the other inmates are asking me what I am in for I have to say well I flipped the fuck out on this lady then they say why what she do to you hurt your baby girl, your momma, what take your money why you flip out on home girl oh she asked me the same question 10 times and I just couldn't take it anymore. On second thought that would probably be a good thing cause all the inmates would think I was crazy and LEAVE ME ALONE. All well I know I ain't about to do that I would miss STBH and my ANGEL too much, but the thought helps me through the hard times.

Question of the Day: Do you know some things I could do to annoy her on the sneak tip? I would love to watch her go crazy for a couple of hours. HEHE!! HAHA!!

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

News Read All About It!!

2007-08-23T08:13:00.000-04:00

Let's see what is going on in my life:

I got some good news. Remember the job I was telling everybody about well my "temporary" supervisor that would be my supervisor if I got the job told me yesterday that I am still a good candidate for the job and that interviews will begin within the next 2 weeks.
My little Angel seems to be doing better. Today she was not fussy when I dropped her off at daycare. I believe her ear infection is doing better.
My apartment complex has stated they will repair the door but only are required by lease to do exterminations 3 times a year so I will be on a cleaning frenzy this weekend. I got information from a great website from Weekends though so again Thank you very much.
I had fun being tagged so I will play again sometime in the future.
My car is having problems AGAIN!! I am about ready to give it up and just get another except I really don't have money for that or to fix it so I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.
STBH and I are still doing well he is out of town for a couple of days and I miss him something terrible. I hate when he leaves me. :-(
I have officially run out of things to say for now, but if I think of more I will post later.

Question of the day: I have changed my blog background do you like?

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

I have been tagged!!!!!!

2007-08-21T16:46:00.000-04:00

*What side of the heart do you draw first? Right
*Can you dive without plugging your nose? I can, but don't it burns.
*What color is your phone? Home phone is white Cell is Red
*Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? STBH
*Where are you right now?At work in my office pretending to work
*How do you feel about carrots? Raw good Cooked Bad
*How many chairs at the dining room table? N/A
*Who is the best Spice Girl? I don't really know who they are expect Scary Spice.
*Do you know what time it is? Please say it is 4:20
*What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Scream faint wake up and scream some more if you can't tell I am terrified of enclosed places
*What's your favorite kind of gum?winter fresh
*T or F: All is fair in love and war? False
*Do you use words that you don't know the meaning to? No
*Do you like to sleep? Yes too much I miss it
*Do you know which US states don't use Daylight Savings? Nope and Don't care
*Do you know the song Sugar We're Goin' Down? Nope
*Do you want a bright yellow '06 mustang? Nope Purple yes Yellow no
*What's something you've always wanted? Married with children
*Do you wear a lot of black? yes I wear a lot of dark colors
*Describe your hair. Dark brown shoulder length.
*Are you an adult? By some peoples standards
*Who is/are your best friends? STBH , Alexis
*Do you have a tan? No
*Are you a television addict? I love Charmed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer , and Sex in the City since these don't come on anymore I don't watch TV as much.
*Do you enjoy spending time with your mom? NO We don't get along very well.
*Are you a sugar freak? Nope just a Freak.
*What is your favorite movie? Love Jones
*What's your sign? Taurus
*Where do you wish you were right now? With STBH and my Angel
*Who did you copy this from? Weekends
*How do you know them? My blogger friend
*Would you have sex with them? UH No
*What brand of shirt are you wearing? cheap
*Have you ever smoked anything? Did I mention I wish it was 4:20

Have a Great Evening Everyone!! I lost all my links so if you are missing, know which ones are missing, or can help me find the link to Tanner please let me know.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

A little random information, A Lot of uninteresting facts

2007-08-20T12:53:00.000-04:00

** Warning this is written by a mother who has only had 3 hours of continuous sleep and needs a nap***

Last week I took TWO Days off from work. Day one I was sick as a dog. I didn't want to take this day off, but I just couldn't make it in. Day Two which was Wednesday I had to go to court. You remember the traffic accident I had well I got a ticket. So I go to court at 7:40am after dropping my Angel off at daycare. My thinking was that since court doesn't start till 9am I will be early and get to leave early. I was WRONG in my thought process, because when I got there it was a line all the way to china. So I am standing behind this chick and she just starts talking to me telling me TMI. This is what I learned.

She served 30 days in jail for 10 worthless checks.
She was in court last time for a hit and run she is currently on probation for.
Her boyfriend came downstairs from the 5th floor and told her where he had court at today. ( My only thought to this was please don't have any children)
She talks a lot.

Then the man behind me advised me this was his second traffic ticket and told me how the system works. Also that there would be a record number of 1900 people in court today. So I waited and waited and WAITED to be told that I have to get information from my insurance company and come back on September 5th. I am not doing my happy dance.

My apartment complex is giving me trouble that is starting to make me trip the FUCK out. Last month my door was replaced with a new "better" one. When this happen a couple days later we had to stay with my grandma, because we didn't have any transportation. Last week we finally got a working car. We move back home and I begin to notice immediate problems in the form of ants everywhere. I did not leave food out so I am not able to understand what the problem is. Then while cleaning the hallway by the door (sweeping, mopping) I notice where the ants are coming from. They come in the front door like they fucking pay rent. I also can not lock the door without almost breaking the key and the last straw was last night. I was laying in bed with my feverish daughter and a bug flew from my bathroom into my bed room. I don't even know what kind of bug this was it didn't look like it should have wings, because it then began to crawl before I killed it. I HATE any and all bugs. I called the apartment complex last week Thursday and Friday. I called again today and they said the problem has been repaired but that is a lie because I still see ants coming in daily I can't stay there with this issue the manager is suppose to be calling me back soon.

My daughter has her 5th ear infection since the end of May and I am just NOT happy about that. I need her to have some relieve and her doctor to do a better job or I will have to get her another one, because this is just too much.

And to top off this really long post I am going to give you the icing on the cake. STBH wants to have another child. He came out point blank and said he is ready for another one.

Question of the day: If I shoot, stab, beat, & burn STBH do you think I they will think I was trying to kill him? If so with all the stress I currently have do you think I can plead temporary insanity? I.E. The ants made me do it.

Looking for shelter,

Carmel Beauty

**Update***

My angel has yet another ear infection. I just may tie my tubes. Thanks Weekends I will try that stuff I have also called my apartment complex THREE times and sent and email since I wrote this post and the Manager is suppose to be coming to my house this afternoon.

Hey Everybody!!

2007-08-13T10:34:00.000-04:00

So I just looked at my visitors side bar and I am on my way to being a well read blog. I hadn't really been paying attention, but I over 1220. So I am doing my happy dance. I know I was kinda MIA last week. I had such good intentions this weekend to write since I didn't last weekend well guess what everybody. I good intentions went to hell in a hand basket. Right now I am so congested I can barely breath without either sneezing or blowing my nose. It is annoying. Allergies it has been HIGH 90's to even a record breaking 105 here in my wonderful state so I have been burning hot as well as annoyed.

Anywho, last week that bad thing I thought was going to happen well it fooled me, because that issue me and stbh have been having has actually gotten some good news. It's not over but I can see clearer now that the rain is less than before.

In other news, my stbh has been maturing on me I am starting to feel like the child less like the adult.(Yeah!!) I think this is great. We have always clicked in a way that was eerie to me, but now he knows what I am thinking and feeling and express thought and feelings along the same lines. With our wedding to be approaching soon this really helps me to realize what a good decision we are making. I know everything won't be peaches and cream, but I'm lovin it.

Remember a few post ago I asked about children he just wants to have them till we can't have any more. He is stuck on the number ten well I want to give yall and update on the situation. I still bring it up every once in a while to try to gauge how far I have brought him back to reality. Well we talked on Sunday and his current scenario involved us living on a farm growing all of our food, me making clothes, and our children doing chores. I told him I am strictly a city girl and this would NOT WORK, but I am not sure if he was serious or not I am praying NOT. If he is that puts us back about 20 paces in my thinking that we are on the same page.

Question of the day: STBH wants to try out something new and I wanted to know if any of yall have tried it. He wants to get some of the cheese from the boxed Mac n' cheese boxes heat it a little and place some on my snatch and lick it off. If you have tried this let me know. If you have tried other things please let me know what you liked and didn't just curious.

I'm Lovin it,

Carmel Beauty

I have not dropped off the planet, but I may want to.

2007-08-09T14:18:00.000-04:00

Hey Everybody,

I have been sooooooooooo busy this last week plus for the last couple of days I have had writers block and have had no ideas on what to write. Being both sleepy and busy just do not work well together. My daughter's teething is keeping the household up at night, and work is WORK. I am still doing the job that previously 3 people were doing and it is getting to me know. Big Time. Sorry I haven't posted in a while I am fine tuning the ending of Mike and Kyra's story so I should have that completed by Monday and just post it all at one time.

I can't write more now but I will on either tomorrow or Friday.

Question of the day: Does anybody know how to make me disappear like magic for a couple of days then reappear like nothing happened?

AAAAHHHHHHHHH (screaming I feel better now :-) ),

Carmel Beauty

Trouble on the Horizon??

2007-08-03T08:09:00.000-04:00

Do you ever get the feeling that something bad is a coming? Like at any minute now your going to get that call that something has just happened. I feel like that now it's a horrible feeling, and I am not sure how to shake it. So taking time to work on Mike and Kyra's story, and a few other things around the house hopefully will help a little. I am such a control freak because I really just want something to do, lists I can make, arrangements, something. I don't like leaving things in the hands of others. I am probably not making sense right now and for that I apologize. Remember a few posts ago I told yall me and stbh were having an issue well I am trying to help both of us to get through it, and right now I feel so helpless. I'm afraid to do the wrong thing, but I am more afraid to do nothing at all. That's why I have not been able to post my normal insightful post as of late.

Well I have to get to work, because if I don't do it it won't get done.

Praying for patience, wisdom, and strength,

Carmel Beauty

I am so sleeeeply!!! (Yawn!!)

2007-07-31T14:08:00.000-04:00

If you can't tell from the title bar I am extermely sleepy. My daughter went to the doctor friday and she is cutting 4 teeth two on top two on the bottom, plus she has an ear infection. So me and stbh have not slept in almost a week. We take turns but with both of us being first time parents we can't sleep when it's our turn. We both want to make it better it is ridiculous.

Anywho, here are just a few random thoughts from me.

1) Work is still crazy.
2) I will be writing up at least 2 chapters of Mike and Kyra's story this weekend maybe even
three and post those next week I want to go ahead and finish that story, because I have a
new one running through my mind as I type.
3) Hopefully my car will be working properly today.
4) If anybody knows of any blogs that write a story let me know I love to read.
5) If you haven't already check out my girl Sylvia Hubbard her book SEX WEED is really
getting GOOD!!! The link is on my side bar if you need it. Please go post a comment
asking her to write another chapter because I NEED TO KNOW MORE!!! ( Yes Sylvia I
hope you are reading this)

Question of the day: Do you think anybody would notice if I took a nap?

Praying for rest,

Carmel Beauty

It's all about sex baby!! It's all about you and me!!

2007-07-27T13:42:00.000-04:00

Do you remember that song by Salt n' Pepa. They used to be the shit!!! That and push it used to be my favorite songs when I was younger. I have always been a closet freak. To the world at large I was a good girl. Honor roll, never missed a day of school, debate team, cheerleader, Class president, etc. Then freshman year in college I decided to lose my virginity. Then everything I had been holding back all those years came out. It was like it suddenly became night time all the time cause the freak came out at night. I was safe, did not ever suck dick but almost anything else I was game. After a while I realized that the fun I was looking for I was not having. I started having sex at 18, but I didn't have my first orgasm until 25. I have never told my fiancee this and I want yall to keep it a secret with me (pinkie swear) , but I had my first orgasm with him. It has felt good in the past, but I never had that earth shattering experience before him. When I realized that all that time I had been searching for something and I finally found it I was scared. I mean all my other relationship I was like a dude hit it and quit it. I saw what love could do to a person my parents was examples of that so I was not interested in that at ALL.

We began as first which was great to me then lovers he kinda stumbled and fell into the pussy one day. His dick is HUGE and I had been celibate (by choice) for a while about 11months. So it hurt a lot but not that I don't want anymore but that DAMN I need to reevaluate (Do you they come in this size? Will he move or damage things that I need?) this thing right here yeah it felt good, but the pain wouldn't let me get into it like I wanted to. That next time was off the hook yall I mean he couldn't bang me hard enough. He is the reason I now like it rough even if it is slow it always has to be hard. So if you haven't figured it out yet that was when I had my first orgasm.

STBH (soon to be hubby) called me at work today and told me he wants some pussy. It throw me, because I was thinking about his gorgeous dick and I hadn't gotten any this morning as usual. We usually do it about 3 times a day (morning, after work, night) so when we get off our cycle it can be frustrating. Who am I kidding even on our cycle I want that boy like nobodies business.

With the new addition to our family things have slowed down a little. It's not a bad thing it's just how it is. So we constrain our selves more now because she is getting older and understands more. That's why this call was so uhm.... Now I have sex on the brain with 4 more hours left at work. What is a girl to do?

Question of the day: Do you think a wet spot will show since I have on dark jeans?

Looking for a way to dry the wetness,

Carmel Beauty

A LOT of Random, A little pictures

2007-07-25T09:31:00.000-04:00

First off I have a few bugs with the car that need to be repaired before I can start driving it. Nothing major there. I just have to wait and I have never been a patient person at all. I just hope it doesn't take longer than today to repair. I need my car by this weekend though my little family has plans.

Second my baby girl is growing so fast it is scary. I feel like I just gave birth to her yesterday and already she is standing on her own for five minutes at a time. At daycare they are moving her up to the next class. She is going to be with the toddlers now. I know this means that she will be moving along even faster. She will be walking soon and I am excited and terrified at the same time.

Third since I don't want to end up like this I better find a better way to deal with my co-workers than strangle them because even though I still want to I have no intentions of going to jail.

Question of the day: Can you tell I just figured out how to add pictures?

Looking for an anger management class,

Carmel Beauty

I AM GOING TO STRANGLE SOMEONE!!!!!!!!

2007-07-24T10:06:00.000-04:00

I am currently at work. I have to key in data for about five different people a day. This data should be given to me in it's correct form with all of the information. The ONLY thing I should have to do is input the data. After that is done then it is then re-audited by another person. Now I say re-audited because the five people who give it to me is suppose to audit BEFORE I get it. THIS NEVER EVER EVER HAPPENS!!!!! Every time I key something I have to audit it at the same time because it is almost never correct.

What is really I mean really pissing me off is on of the main offenders is the person in the job for which I recently applied. I was told I was second choice but that she had more experience then me and was a better candidate. Now granted she has worked in a different department for 7 years and I have only been her for going on three years most of which has been in a temporary position, but this is ridiculous. It doesn't matter if they have more experience If I am doing all the work and not getting paid for it.

Another example of her laziness and ineptitude is that the person who had this job before her would do most as in 95% of there own keying as well as all the other work they do during the day. This lady does not any of her own keying also she has to send out invoices to different locations and once a month she has only been here for two months, and the last two times I have had to type up the labels and mail out the invoices because she conveniently had to take the day off when they needed to be mailed. When she is here she spends most of her time in Dory's (I will explain dory later) office they used to work together. I am tired of the abuse the job I am currently doing was done by three people. One left to work for a different company and the other moved upstate. So I am doing all the work on my own and the asshat doesn't do hardly anything, and the things she does do are WRONG.

Now not by any means do I think I am perfect, because I am not I make mistakes but when you have to tell someone over, over, and over about the same mistake I think that person is just being careless.

Dory I got her name from the movie Finding Nemo if you have seen it she reminds me of the fish that had Alzheimer's. Well the Dory is a trip and acts just like that fish it's crazy she is suppose to "re-audit" the work after I have keyed it. Guess what it is still wrong, because she doesn't have the slightest idea what she is doing either.

Now for the mistakes that I notice I will correct, but I don't go searching for them. I don't have time. I just have entirely to much work to do. I don't even have time to type this. I do feel a little better though and that was the reason for this post.

I know I have made several grammatical errors sorry hope you can understand my rant if not please let me know and I will help you out :-).

Question of the day: Is is wrong that I just noticed like A LOT of errors and said fuck it I ain't fixin' it and went on about my business like I didn't even notice it?

Breathing FIRE,

Carmel Beauty

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!!!!!!

2007-07-23T08:07:00.000-04:00

Good morning all,

I have found a car. Also the situation I was referring to that hubby and I are going through seems to be improving at least I am praying that it is. We are still making wedding plans and trying to keep everything moving along at an even pace. It's hard when something knocks you off your block, but we seem to be making it.

In other news, since our recent scare with pregnancy we have been talking about additional children. During our discussions I assumed we were on the same page. That is until last night. His mother, him, & I was talking and out of no where she suggested that if we did not want to have more children now then we need to be on some form of birth control. I brought the subject up to him once we were home I asked if he wanted me to get on a better form of birth control than what we currently use (nothing). He said no. So I asked him to clarify. He stated that we will be blessed with the children God feels we should have whether that be 2 or 10. He NEVER at anytime wants me to do anything to prevent us making a baby. I told him I don't want to have an additional child right now. I thought we were under agreement I was wrong. He wants to have another NOW he feels God will let us know when is the right time. I want to discuss this issue he feels it's not open for discussion. Now I know it's my body I can do what I want. We don't believe in abortion for ourselves, although I am free choice that is just my person choice. I do believe in birth control. We have discussed children at length know we don't want to have more then 4 if that many I don't understand how this never came up before. We will discuss this again he just isn't aware of it. I will not be pregnant every year or have more then four children so something will give.

So my question today: Do you feel in this day and age that God should be your birth control? That he won't give you more children then you are suppose to have. Why or Why not?

Studying the latest birth control methods,

Carmel Beauty

Car Accident!!!!

2007-07-17T09:26:00.000-04:00

My daughter and I were in a car accident yesterday. We are both ok, but my car is totaled. Right now I am taking things one minute at time. I am glad that my daughter is okay so I am going to just take everything as it comes. I am going to be taking a break from writing depending on how I feel, but it will only be for a couple of days if that long.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

The simple pleasures!!

2007-07-13T09:49:00.000-04:00

I feel old today. I miss the times when I would be happy with a piece of candy and watching Saved by the Bell on TV. When the most I had to do was keep my room clean, my grades up, and my legs closed. Those were the times no responsibilities and life was good.

Today I got that happy feeling again, but for a different reason. I am working on a project at work which requires me to do something in excel and well I did it. (doing my happy dance) This happiness made me think about all of lives simple pleasures. Some people only get happy about the BIG things out of life like a raise, vacation, graduation, etc. I don't think it's bad to celebrate the big things in life, but the small things should be celebrated as well. We never know when our time on this earth will end and I want to end with a bang myself. I want to know that everyday I was here I celebrated ALL all of my accomplishments whether they be BIG or small. Especially with my daughter. Example if she gets an A on a spelling test I will celebrate that just as much as if she gets an A for English for that semester. Every little pat on the back gives people that encouragement to do more strive for better.

In closing look to those around you and yourself and when an accomplishment is made whether is be little or HUGE celebrate it. Make sure that you can say yesterday I did a little thing, today I will do a Big thing, and tomorrow I will do a HUGE thing.

Question of the day: When was the last time you celebrated some accomplishment whether is be yours or someone else's ? If it has been a while then take a minute and do the happy dance with me?

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Title Bar Finally Working Ya!!!!

2007-07-11T09:01:00.001-04:00

Ya'll I am feeling so in love with the hubby right now. I can't explain it, but I am going to try. He has been so attentive, just listening when I talk, we have a connection, and he understands how I feel before I even put it into words. Now some would say this is a good thing me well I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Are we allowed to be this happy. I keep trying to roll with it truly I am, but in my experience something bad always happens to ruin the good. I could be wrong this time so I'm trying really hard to let it go. I know he doesn't even know I have a blog let alone read it but Baby Love I love you!!!!!!! I have been hearing that song Always and Forever in my head for like the last three days. I was so tired this morning, because my baby girl did not want to sleep last night and he just made me feel better this morning even though we were both tired. He has a way of just making all my bad days feel good. Now he ain't perfect, but what person is? I just wanted to get that out.

My question of the day: I want to give him a surpise he will never forget something that will knock his socks off. I don't want it to be a rush job I want it to take a few days of planning and be really romantic and inexpensive cause we have already started planning for the wedding and even with us getting married at the JOP it is still going to be expensive. So if anyone has any ideas let me know.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

2007-07-10T10:03:00.000-04:00

Mike & Kyra Part IIII

Sitting at her desk finishing up her work day Kyra begins to feel queasy jumping up from her desk she goes to her private bathroom making it to the toilet just in time to dump the contents of her stomach. As she was rinsing her mouth out with mouthwash she was thinking to herself.

If I didn't know any better I would think I was pregnant. I take my pills on time though everyday. I never miss a day because I just can't have any children now.

Kyra then goes to her desk and picks up her purse and jacket walks out the door and out to her car. Just as she is unlocking the door she feels a hand come over her mouth and one grabbing her by the waist picking her up off the ground and carrying her. She is then shoved into the of a van. After she and her attacker get in it begins moving. "Look Kyra, if you stay quiet and sit still I will not have to gag and tie you up do you understand?" her attacker states. Kyra then nods her head up and down that she does.

As soon as she is released she lunges for the door not caring that the van is in motion she knows if she is to survive she needs to escape. Before she can get the door open she is knocked on the back of the head. The first time does not knock her out but after the second time she is unconscious.

Hearing a loud thud when she falls back the driver asks "Mikey, you didn't hurt her did you he said if you hurt her he won't pay us?" the driver said. "Nah, I didn't hurt her Mico I just knocked her out so she won't give us any trouble." "Boy she look good though nice Phat ass pull over so I can get me some right quick nobody will ever know." Mikey said. "Hell naw, you crazy not only will he not pay us if he find out he will kill us, that man is ruthless fuck you I dying for no pussy." "Plus the bitch is unconscious I like it better when they fight." Mico said with a sick smile on his face.

Once they reached there destination a big warehouse out on the marina they placed Kyra in a room with a TV, bed, bathroom, and a big suitcase. Closing the door they went in search of the man who hired them to abduct Kyra.

Kyra pretended to still be unconscious until they left once the door closed she surveyed her surroundings trying to find a way out. There has to be a way out of here but I only see a door and very high windows that I know I can't reach. I don't even know who has kidnapped me. I haven't been raped and I am still alive so why am I here. Something is wrong. I'm glad they didn't check me for weapons. I always keep my pocket knife in my snatch. Like visa I don't leave home without it. I wish I had a gun though. I hear footsteps so I am going to lay back down and pretend sleep again.

While laying there with her eyes closed she hears the door open. ......

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

** 10:26am 07/12/07 Edit the more comments I recieved the quicker you will recieve the next post**

2007-07-09T15:23:00.000-04:00

This makes no sense:

Okay as you all know I recently had a pregnancy scare and well the results are in and Aunt Flo entered the building on Saturday. And guess what everyone you will never guess not in a million gazillion years. We both are a little disappointed I'm not pregnant. Me more so then him but both of us none the same. I feel like I lost something that I never had to begin with. I know I thought and still do think the timing is horrible right now it's just that for a week I thought I might be and I fell in love all over again then found it was nothing to fall in love with. It's okay though we will try again when the timing is better. So as of right now I am working like crazy to get current in my work so I am going to keep up with it blog as I can.

Question of the day: Do you think I'm crazy? I know I am I just want someone else opinion? :-)

Short & Sweet !!!

2007-07-02T15:17:00.000-04:00

If I could I would add more hours to the day. I want to do so much but it just never seems like there is enough time. Anyway, yesterday for the first time my darling baby girl said Ma Ma actually she screamed it for about 2hours. I was having a rough day and she just made everything all better her and my soon to be hubby who I will now refer to as just hubby. He is so good to me. I have never had a male who is my everything like he his. And my baby girl she is just words can not describe the pleasure I feel being her mommy.

Question of the day:

How long do you think you should wait in between children? Can you make yourself not be preggers if you're not ready yet and you would NEVER have an abortion? (I know the answer to that just humor me.)

I don't know if I am I just know that it is a possibility and the timing suuuuuccccckkkssss. Hubby says everything will be OK I just keep praying about it. I have tried to keep it to myself. Freakin birth control malfunction why oh why is the sex so irresistible if it was horrible I would stay away from it. :-)

Praying for a pause in the baby making factory,

Carmel Beauty

Bits and Pieces of me

2007-06-29T13:40:00.000-04:00

I had a lazy morning today. I was unable to get onto the system to do anything so I just sat around all morning. I wanted to post on my blog or read others, and when I realized I couldn't even do that I got mad. I mean really what fun is it that when you can goof off and not do any work you can't read the Internet, other blogs, or write on your own blog. So I decided to take my lunch at 11am this morning and go pick up my check so that was fun who doesn't love getting paid. Then after I realized how much my bills were compared to my check amount I was left with get this yall a whole $142.26 till pay day which is like 2weeks away. So as you may have guessed I was then very mad again.

In other news, I did get some good news so everyone just pray that everything will work out for me and my fiancee. We have been going through a trying time lately. I won't go into details, and no it's not about our relationship, but we have been going through a lot lately. This news today although we have been praying about it for a while I won't say it was unexpected it was just better than expected at least for the time being. I actually love how our adversity has made us stronger. We communicate better than ever before. I know whatever life hands to us we will be able to handle in our 2yr. 7mth. relationship we have been through more then a little bit let me tell you. I am glad though because it has shaped the people we are today.

My daughter is standing already and she is growing up so fast this makes me happy and scares me at the same time. She is so beautiful with the biggest grey/blue eyes I have ever seen. She has this thing where she will stare at you without blinking. I mean she does this for long periods of time yall, and it scares my aunt. She has her periods of unexplained fussiness, but for the most part she is such a happy baby. I told her father though that he will have a lot on his hands when she is able to date at age 25. :-)

Well yesterday was the girl I was telling yall about last day so today is the beginning of me taking over her position. So while I was unable to do anything I have been just going over some of the parts of her job trying to see what is caught up and what is behind. Guess what? EVERYTHING is behind. It will take 6months just to catch up. I want the job though. I love the work I just wish it was caught up I hate having to dig myselve out of a pit because the new work will continue to come even if the old is not done. Then people have been coming to me all day with stuff they would usually ask her about then they ask are you going to be applying for her position. Why are people so nosy? I mean really is that their business at all. I just say I haven't decided then they give me their unsolicited advise and tell me I should. It's really quite annoying.

So I have been writing forever and a day long post I know. I will go now no helping views today I couldn't think of a topic. I will work more on Mike and Kyra story today though and have more for ya on Monday. Everyone who blogs I stalk I read today's entry if you have one and it would not let me post a comment I may try to do that later if I have time. :-)

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

Sexually Transmitted Diseases!!!!!! Are you Aware?

2007-06-28T08:07:00.000-04:00

When you begin a relationship BEFORE it becomes sexual then you need to discuss your sexual history, what forms of birth control you will be using, and the last time you have taken STD tests get as much information as you can.

Now when discussing your sexual history it is required that you give ALL information, and this knowledge does include whether or not you have been with someone of the same gender. It is not ok to lie to your partner, it's not ok to omit information. To me this is just another form of lying. Yes everyone has a right to choose what gender they prefer to be with, but the person you are with also has a right to know this information.

Currently, we have a new trend of the DL brother. This is wrong on so many levels. This is a man who has a wife and in so cases children, but he also sleeps with men. In some cases this man will not use protection, because he doesn't want to get caught. Now I don't agree with cheating on a person especially a wife/husband, because you have made a commitment to each other, but the DL man has taken that to a whole new level of deception. They are not just cheating it's like they are using there spouse as a cloak for they homosexuality. In doing so they are putting there significant other and any children they may have at risk by not using protection.

In discussing what forms of protection to use it's not just birth you are trying to prevent ladies and gentlemen. That is a factor, but not the most important. Women I know for myself that most men don't like to use condoms, but you can not use this as an excuse not to protect yourself. There are condoms for women as well. Women did you know that a man can't have sex with you without a condom unless you let them. It's true I promise. Let him know upfront that YOU are the most important person to you. You (male or female) need to protect yourself that is the only way we will stop the spread of STD's.

Now for those of you in a committed relationship maybe heading towards marriage who only have ONE sexual partner what you need to do is get re-tested. Yes I wrote re-tested because before you had sex with this person you should have already been tested. So this is just to make sure that nothing had been sitting dormant when you tested before and everything is a ok for you to just use either birth control or if trying to have a baby no birth control.

I am trying to help spread the word and just talking about things that have been weighing on my mind. Also trying to get my birds and bees conversation ready for my daughter yeah I have like 25 years before she will be even allowed to date but hey why not get started early. She is 8months old I gotta start sometime and I like being prepared.

For more information on this topic go to http://medical.justanswer.com/ they have answers from doctors 24/7.

My question do you think that you have to advise your current partner if you have had sexual partners of the same gender? Why or Why not?

Schedules !!!!!

2007-06-27T14:13:00.000-04:00

I keep trying to make a schedule for myself with blogging, work, my daughter, and fiancee well today I have come to realize that they just don't work so no more. At work before I can finish one assignment they are bringing me another so in between each I am working on whatever that I can. It's the end of our fiscal year so things are very busy here. I barely have time to write this. At home my daughter requires a lot of attention and she is teething right now so that is not fun for either of us. She is just not sleeping well so in turn neither are me and my fiancee. Also about a week ago for the last month she had an ear infection that would NOT go away it is better now but that and teething at he same time is just HELL. Well woman you know how your man requires his attention we are still trying to get into a groove after having the baby so we are not quite there but hopefully we will be soon.

I will have more free time this weekend to work on Mike & Kyra's story so I hope to be able to post another part on Monday.

My question today is how come all the TV mothers made it look so easy to run a household?

Needing structure,

Carmel Beauty

An interuption to your reguarly scheduled program

2007-06-25T14:19:00.000-04:00

I know that I promised to do part Part IV to Mike and Kyra story, but blame it on the soon to be husband I just haven't had time but tonight I will work on the story and post it tomorrow.

So since I don't have that I am going to ask another poll question something that I have been thinking about for a while and wanted to get every one's opinion on. Adoption? Now I am all for adoption or foster care what I am against is people adopting from another country who live right here is the good old US of A. I mean we have thousands of children right here who need homes why do you have to go to another country to adopt. I have nothing against the other children either truly I don't. I just feel that in order for our country to improve we need to begin at home. Our country is always trying to help others yes this is a good thing in a way. I say in a way because I can't help you if I can't even help myself. So yes I am all for adoption hope to be able to do that some day in the future, but please seek out the thousands of children that need a home and love right here.

People tell me how you feel concerning adoption do you have other concerns do you agree or disagree with me give me your view?

Wondering do I adopt from USA or a Third World country,

Carmel Beauty

Work

2007-06-22T08:42:00.000-04:00

Currently I work for a temp agency. I am an assistant to the office manager. Last Friday she put in her resignation so her last day will be on this coming Thursday. With Tranquil gone I have had A LOT more work to do because since she is leaving she has decided to do less work than normal. Then yesterday her boss came to me and asked if I could take over her position after she leaves till he is able to hire a permanent person for her position. So I will have lots, lots and losts more work to do than normal. I am going to still kept up with my posting though I promise it is my only form of release. I will not be like Tranquil who hasn't posted in forever.

I will post more on Mike and Kyra on Monday.

Gotta Go so much work so little time,

Carmel Beauty

Mike & Kyra Part III

2007-06-20T13:17:00.000-04:00

Okay I am going to try again.

Mike & Kyra Part III

I fell a little bit better about my plan. Jackson has a way of making me feel more confident. He has been a my PNC for a while. Our mothers were best friends so we go back like babies and pacifiers. I haven't seen him for a while since being with Mike we have fallen out of touch. I knew he would be the best person to call when all this drama with Mike started. He is the only person I can trust since my mama died.

I still love Mike and I probably always will but I will never be able to trust him like I once could. He is the love of my life. Mike has treated me better than any boyfriend that I have ever had until the violence started. I don't understand where it came from it was out of nowhere. I know that things between us at that time weren't good I mean he had just lost his job, a job that he loved. He was trying to help me, and I know he blames me for the loss shit I do too. When I got pregnant it was just plain old bad timing. I know how much he wanted that baby. I wanted nothing more than to be the one to give him a child, but I still had to worry about the police knocking on my door. It wasn't the time on top of that he didn't just lose his job they was trying to charge him with the removal of the evidence, if they could have found proof that he had removed the evidence from the PD he would have locked up faster than you can say jail. I didn't want to have a baby while in jail with both of it's parents locked up it would have been wrong. With the way things turned out maybe I should have just kept the baby, I just wasn't sure it was going to work out this well.

The last piece of the puzzle though is where is all of his money coming from. He was only a Police Officer they don't make that much money. How is he able to afford that 5 bedroom two car garage home, the big body Benz sitting on dubs, or the nice clothes that he wears. Losing his job hasn't set him back at all. I still need to investigate. I have already set my plan in motion, but in order to make sure everything goes off without a hitch I have to have all the facts. Kyra then pulls into to her parking space at work. I guess I better get out the car and start my 9-5 before I lose my job. Unlike Mike I have to work to make a living.

Mike pulls up to a big warehouse parks and enters the building going straight to the big office in the back. "Hey B, is everything in place?" Mike says as he sits down in the chair in front of the desk. "I don't need any fuck ups. I still love this girl and I don't want her hurt." leaning forward in the chair Mike looks the man behind the desk in the eye. "Everything is all set just like you wanted it. I don't understand though after all this girl is doing planning to 187 your ass and everything you still don't want to kill her. Shit, pussy is pussy buy you some more big money bags why is this pussy so important to you." B says this while pulling a cigar out of a special compartment on the side of his desk and lighting it. "We got history man, and lately I have been doing her wrong I just need to end all this so that we can take some us time and get back to where we used to be. " seeming like he is agitated Mike stands up and goes to look out the window. Looking up in the sky he sees all the good times he and Kyra have had and it makes he that much more determined to make it work with her. "Since everything is in place I got to go, I have another stop to make I want to be there when Kyra gets off work." Mike turns around and walks out the door. "I'll Holla at you when I am I have a definite time as to when the shit is going down B?"

Leaving the warehouse Mike gets into his car and goes to a flower shop near his house. He picks up 3 dozen red roses and a vase big enough to place them in once he gets home. Driving down the road towards the drug store he calls Kyra's favorite restaurant and orders two of orders of her favorite meal. He picks up 2 home pregnancy tests, and a card while in the drug store. Finally his last stop is to pick up the take out order he requested. During his drive home he begins thinking of all the ways he can make there relationship like it used to be.

I know Kyra doesn't trust me anymore we have hurt each other to much, but when can build our relationship back up to where it used to be if we work together. I just have to prove to her that we have a reason to. She hasn't been taking the birth control pills for three months and this month she finally started to show symptoms. I just hope I am right she will know after she takes the test that we have to stay together. She will be made after I tell her I replaced her birth control pills with placebos, but after I tell her how much I love her she will understand I only did this for us. If not then I guess I will have to go through with Plan B I don't want to she is the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, but if push comes to shove I will do what I have to do.

Hoping this is better,

Carmel Beauty

P.S. Comment Please! Also if anyone knows how to add the thing(yes I don't know what to call it so :-) ) that tells you how many people have viewed your site let me know pretty please with sugar on top.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

2007-06-19T08:03:00.000-04:00

Have you ever done anything that in the light of day after you thought about it you realized it was the most STUPID thing that you could have done. Well last night I did I am not going to go into detail but lets just say the I did something that as a teenager without a child I would have never thought to do, but now as a 26 year old "woman" with a little girl who I would never ever want to repeat the action I did last night I did the unspeakable. No I didn't break any laws well yeah I did but at least I didn't get caught. :-) So today I believe that I need to spend it repenting. My fiancee and I both do. For five minutes of fame we could have lost everything. We both feel pretty stupid this morning and I had to write about it. I know that nobody is without sin or perfect, but at the age that I am I should just know better.

So my poll for today what do you do to atone for your imperfections?

Looking for insight,

Carmel Beauty

Soulmates

2007-06-18T14:50:00.001-04:00

Last night my best friend asked me if I feel that my fiancee is my soul mate. We were talking about our current relationships. My question to her was what makes a person your soulmate she stated you just know. It got me to thinking about that theory just like when you ask someone what is love and how do you know if you love a certain person the reply usually is you just know. I feel that there has to be a way to tell. I know there is not certain criteria to look for but there has to be more than just a feeling. I don't think love should be reduced to a quiz or picking the petals off of a flower (he loves me, he loves me not), I just think that there are signs of things that everyone should look for. Especially before making that plunge into forever with someone.

For instance I will just touch on one subject that is the most important to me. RESPECT Arthea Franklin said it best. Without respect how can you make a relationship work. I mean if you man/woman treats you badly as just a boyfriend/girlfriend how do you think it will work if you are married to this person. In a relationship both parties need to take the other person's feeling into consideration. You both need to communicate to each other what you need because the other person is not just going to know how you feel.

Respect is not the only ingredient necessary for a healthy relationship what else do you feel is necessary?

Looking for others thoughts,

Carmel Beauty

Mike & Kyra Part 2

2007-06-15T09:47:00.000-04:00

Okay this is part II remember this is my first time writing for an audience usually I keep my stories to myself like TV programs in my head. Miss JJ I added the Explicit to the last post Sorry J. Nalini and Barney thanks for reading and commenting I will be keeping up with your blogs to.

Please comment so I will know how and if you like ……

* Explicit Language *

Mike & Kyra Part II

After Mike finished eating he and Kyra decided to go to bed. Yeah this stupid ass punk think I’m going to keep taking his shit, I want him to sleep on me so I can catch him unaware. “Lay down baby I have some warm oil and I will give you a massage to help you unwind.” Once he laid down on his stomach her face changed to the most hateful expression you have ever seen. Mike unaware of her thoughts slowly drifts off to sleep while she is rubbing all the tenseness out of his muscles.

Realizing Mike is asleep Kyra silently gets up to search the house I have to find out where he has kept those papers before I can put my plan in motion. If I do it now and he has given the evidence to someone else for safe keeping I’m fucked. There has got to be at least a clue as to who he gave the papers to in this house somewhere. I will not be taking another beating from him. At least he doesn’t know all my secrets.

Mike was only pretending to be asleep upstairs getting up from the bed silently he is listening to try to find out what Kyra is doing. I hear that bitch rumbling around in my shit she ain’t going to find anything I don’t want her to find. Yeah she think she got me fooled she must be taking those cheap drugs cause a nigga like me don’t EVER sleep. She don’t think I know about all of her lies I know more then she think I do. I will be the last man standing. She just keep helping me along by being predicable.

The next morning Kyra is getting ready for work. “Mike baby I am leaving for work now I will be back later.” She kisses his cheek then walks out the bedroom, down the stairs and out the door. I am so glad I found those papers as soon as I meet Jackson we can put together the finishing touching of our plan. I didn’t want to have to kill again but …….

Mike is just waking up late afternoon gets dressed and leaves the house. Dialing a number on the phone once it is answered he begins speaking. “Yo, what up B?” Mike states. “Nothing what’s popping?” caller states. “Do you have everything ready?” “Yep.” “Well I am on my way.” Hanging up the phone Mike thinks about all the good times he and Kyra have had over the years. I love this girl to death but I got to teach her not to fuck with me. She thinks I don’t know about that abortion or the birth control pills she has been taking everyday. She knows how much I want to have a baby. She thinks that she can keep secrets from me well she can’t.I can’t lose her she is the best thing that ever happened to me but a man has got to do what he has got to do I just hope she understands …….

Holla Back,

Carmel Beauty

Mike & Kyra Story Part 1

2007-06-14T14:50:00.001-04:00

Explicit * Explicit * Explicit

"Bitch" Mike screamed. "What do you be thinking about?" "This house is never clean, no food on the table at dinner time, and I don't get sex when and how I want it?" he continued in his rant to Kyra his longtime girlfriend. "Mike, I'm sorry baby I will try better I promise just don't hit me anymore PLEASE?" Mike leaves in a huff while Kyra sits in the corner crying.

Three hours later Mike finally comes home drunk and horny. "Baby where are you at?"he says. "Kyra" he calls out as he walks into the house noticing that it's clean and he smells what seems to be his favorite meal coming from the kitchen. He goes into the bedroom where he sees Kyra on the bed with a black lace teddy. "I'm sorry baby it's just since I lost my job I have been so down, I didn't mean to take it out on you." "Mike don't talk baby it's ok I understand." "Baby take off all your clothes" Kyra says. While he is removing his boxers she gets down on her knees taking the tip of his penis in her mouth going around and around lightly with her tongue. He tries to take her head and guide all of his 9inches in but she won't let him she is slowly teasing licking and giving him soft kisses making him want more, but not giving it to him. Finally catching him by surprise she deep throats him sucking fast till she feels him about to nut then slowing down again. She plays with him like this for what seems like forever to him but is really only 45mins. Then releasing him she gets into the doggy-style position on the bed. He knows what she wants slowly and softly he moves the crotch of her teddy to the side only to realize it is crocthless. He then sticks in two fingers and finds her leaking like a faucet ready for him. He bends his head sucking on her clit till she is squirming ready for more. In one swift hard motion he enters her from behind. With him buried to the hilt inside of her he doesn't move. Eventually she tries to move and he holds her hips stopping her. She turns around and looks at him silently begging him to move and he does all the way out then hard and swift in again over and over giving her multiple orgasms while she is screaming his name. Finally he ejaculates nut running out faster and harder then the fastest roller coaster ride. Exhausted they fell onto the bed together deciding to take a quick nap.

After waking up they shower together and go to eat the meal Kyra prepared. "Why aren't you having any baby you aren't hungry?" Mike asks. "Not right now I haven't been feeling well lately, I will eat later" she stated. "This is real good when you cook you put your foot into it" he stated. "Thank you baby make sure you eat it all cause I got plans for you when you finish" she said thinking yeah I definitely got plans for your hateful, abusive ass.

Okay if yall like the beginning of my story so far I will write more if not then I can change the plot to something else just let me know.

Revenge is best served COLD,

Carmel Beauty

WOW!!!!

2007-06-14T08:38:00.000-04:00

Good Morning All,

We have readers it feels great to be read I spent all of yesterday advertising on all the sites that I read everyday so thank you for all the comments and for reading our blog. In response to Tranquil's post yesterday about marriage I tend to agree with the comments. People these days do not understand and value the words "till death due us part". Now I understand leaving a marriage where your spouse is verbally or physically abusive. I just think that more and more marriages today are over before they have had a chance to really begin. I would love to hear some comments from the men on this issue as well if we have any male readers.

Okay today's topic is love and support. I first want to send mad love to one of my favorite writers and my inspiration to begin writing. Sylvia Hubbard please take a virtual bow. I have read just about everything of hers that I can get my hands on. She is a GREAT writer and I just fell in love with her style of writing from the first paragraph that I read of Sin's Iniquity. I am an avid reader so from time to I will be discussing books that I am currently reading. Anyway please visit her blog and read the book she is currently writing live for us it is a fantastic read and you may get just a little peeved at her because you will soon find out why her readers have dubbed her Queen of the Cliffhangers. LOL

Anywho I want to talk about a different kind of support. I believe that we need to start supporting the other people in our community from young to old. My grandmother and great-grandmother tell me all the time about how times were different back in the day. When a child acted out it wasn't just there mother and father they had to worry about it was any adult in the community that saw them doing wrong that would snatch that ass back in line. Our children today are not taught to show adults respect or to respect authority. We are losing them everyday to violence. Something needs to be done and the solution is start at home. Not just your home as in the physical address that you live at, but the broader picture. Look at your community, your family, and your church home. In order to make sure that our children have a brighter future we have to help them to be on the right path. Now for those you that don't have children you could always help by mentoring a child. Show them the right direction, because you could make a difference as to whether or not said child will become a CEO of a major corporation or the head of the next gang in your area. It's time that we as a people looked to ourselves to make a change because nobody is going to do it for us.

One more thing cause I know this is a long post. I also feel like we need to take better care of our elders they have been here through a lot and need someone to look after them properly. Now my great-grandmother is living she is 85 years old with 12 children and most of them take turns looking out for her, but the other people in her nursing home are not so lucky.

Thought for today:
When you were younger was there a person the helped to guide you on the right path and are you giving that back and if not do you think you should?
Also think about it when you are that old and can barely take care of yourselves don't you want someone to look after you?

Giving Back and Urging others to do so as well,

Carmel Beauty

Love & Support

2007-06-14T08:12:00.000-04:00

I am so excited, because I just loved the feed back that I got from that post. I was intrigued just to hear the different opinions from you guys. Yes, I do agree, that marriage is an issue that you can go on about all day, but what really matters the most, is your heart. If it is there or not, just do what is needed to keep or make you happy!

My prayer for this world is that we as people would find ourselves first, love ourselves first, know who we are first and foremost know how to give, love and be true to oneself and then to others. No matter what goes on in this world, it must start from you, the home and the environment. We can not depend on the government to help us, you see where that has gotten us, but if I know that my family or a friend is in need I will be there to help no matter what little I have to give. This is what we need, humanity!

Ok.... I wanted to send a shout out to Sylvia Hubbard, an amazing, captivating, mind blowing author. She is a fantastic writer, ranging anywhere from mystery to romance and best of all she allows her readers to fulfill those fantasies we all have dreamt about. I love her work, so when you get a chance please visit http://sylviahubbard.blogspot.com/ and read her newest project Sex Weed!

Yes people, imagine that Sex and Weed all together in the same sentence, what a high and this book is a true high!!!! What I like about Sylvia is not only her work as a writer, but the fact that she proves dreams are possible and obtainable. She is a single parent and she is still going after what she believes in! She allows her readers to follow her life, and her stories step by step, she invites you into her life... I am just so motivated by the fact to know that she is trying to get a publisher and she still keeps writing. The queen of suspense, she is, so when you read her books, you will be upset, cause sister will just leave you hanging!

I love to read and write and if you have a blog out there or a book or what ever project you're working on please send a link so that I can support you. All about the support here! Let's keep it real, we all have dreams and all want that support system, so in order for any of us to go forward we need one another!

One more thing, to my single parents out there, trying to make ends meet, taking care of their kids by themselves, working jobs (whether it is 1,2 or even 3), holding down careers, trying to obtain those dreams and yes, deal with the every day crap life throws at you! Keep your head up! Your blessing is on it's way and you have to believe that. This is not the easiest job in the world and I give mad love and support to you!!!!!

Congratulations, cause every day you survive should be a day to celebrate!

Peace & Love
Tranquil

Why we can't hold down a marriage?

2007-06-13T10:55:00.000-04:00

Great Post, Caramel!!! The preacher guy, he was wrong for that! But these days you have people waking up one morning and claiming, "I think I want to be a preacher". No calling, no divinity school, just plain thinks it is a great career, with a lot of money from struggling folks. Don't get me wrong, I love church and go almost every Sunday, but I think wrong is wrong! You are there to lead people to help them understand what they are called for and how to see the blessing upon there life. Who are you to tell a member of your congregation what they are doing is wrong! People need to learn how to think before they speak, words can hurt or damage a person! That is my 2 cents on that!

Anywayz, since we polling you guys today and hey please comment, I am looking for a response, don't let me have to start tracking readers to view this blog!!! This is been a serious issue with me and I just want to hear someone out there agree with me! What is going on with our generation that they can not keep marriages together! Take a minute and think, count how many successful, happy, devoted, in love marriages out there that you know of personally? I have tried this time and time again, even asked people and I came up with 5 and hey that is what I can see from looking on the outside. So why are these marriages not working? Why are people, especially African American, jumping into these relationships getting married and within 1 year if that long, are claiming a divorce or separation! They can not live together no more, it is not working, he/she cheated on me, in-laws crazy as hell. I mean think about it, now a days our men generally African Americans and Hispanic, feel the need to reproduce, becoming mainly just a sperm donor, dropping kids off at each door they stop at. So with 2-3 baby mamma's, different homes, different personalities and then you get a wife to deal with this shit, or vice versa cause you know we have women out here flipping the script. Again, what is wrong with our generation why can we not hold down a marriage?

My philosophy is if you don't think you ready, why make someone else miserable. Ladies how about we stop lowering our standards for the first thing that talking BS or holding out to put up with shit cause you think that is the best you can do! It ain't worth it! I always thought oh I want to get married and I had this time frame to fulfill, but I ain't gonna rush into nothing if I don't feel right about it. Follow your intuition! This aint right, if you know or feel something then don't do it, cause I dont mind finding a fuck buddy for the rest of my life!

Hit me back!
Tranquil

Polling the People

2007-06-13T08:59:00.000-04:00

Hello All,

Okay today I am going to throw some questions at yall to see what kind of responses that I get if any because I believe we have not been found out in the blogging world yet but here goes. This morning I was listening to the Russ Par Morning Show, and they had an email from a man requesting help. One Sunday the man was in Church his pastor preached on homosexuality and how it was an abomination. Now the preacher then proceeded to out the man in front of the whole church. He of course felt this was wrong and wanted to know if he could out the preacher in the same manner because he heard through the grapevine that he has male "friends" to. So one of my questions today is should he or shouldn't he out the pastor?

My view:

My thought is he should not out the pastor so to speak, but he should make it be known to the whole congregation that he felt that what the pastor did was just wrong and uncalled for. This man may have been touched in his heart if the pastor had preached in a different way so as not to insult him but to give him information. I have found that constructive criticism goes a lot farther then hate. To me that is what is was. There was nothing productive about what the pastor did and I wouldn't even be able to go to a church where this is how my pastor tried to reach his flock. You never know what he will be talking about next or for that matter who he will be talking about. People in glass houses should not throw stones and nobody is without sin. Just my thoughts on the subject.

Okay my next question is concerning relationships. My fiancee and I were talking last night and we ended up on the subject of sex. I gotta give a little background information for this question to make sense. Me and my man were friends before we became lovers. I was celibate for 11 months by choice about 2months before I met my man. At the time that we met I was dating boy (literally he was a boy very small little man if you know what I mean) so my man was aware of boy knew we were dating knew we had sex a couple of times, and all that. So anyway last night we were talking about my celibacy and he then proceeded to ask if he was my first after my 11month drought. I told him the truth a truth which mind you, he already knew. So my man proceeded to get upset that I told him this. My questions are why (since he already knew), should I have not told him? I guess I could have just not answered the question but if I had said yes you were my first he would have called me a liar it was a no end situation damned if I do damned if I don't.

SOS,
Carmel Beauty

Welcome

2007-06-12T15:19:00.000-04:00

Ok, please bear with my coworker and I, we go online and read other blogs all day, and thought well hey we can do that too! This is gonna be fun, so I hope you are ready for a ride! We are just gonna wild out, but also, we want to be informative, help others along the way and give people some things to think about and talk also just talk plan crap! This is not about us, but this is about you guys that are reading, so when you start commenting we will start acting up! If you see something that you feel dont not relate to you then hell, dont read it! If you like it, keep on reading it, just show some love at the same time.

So here goes! I am a sophisticated, classy woman, with goal on my mind. What ever I want I get it, so that in itself says that I am determined. My life, I try to keep simply, but interesting and there are just some many things that come at me that make me wanna cut a mutha., but I am gonna be cool and realize that things happen for a reason. I will be keeping you guys informed on that too! We are gonna keep it real, honest, hilarious and just be an open book to you guys. So when you get here, forget about all that day to day shit and enter into our world!

My first post

2007-06-12T14:59:00.000-04:00

Hello All,

This is my first post so I really don't have much to say. I am going to give you my format for future posts. I will mostly write about everyday life and short stories that I think up. My co-worker who will be leaving on Friday of this week will also be posting entries with me. We are new so bare with us :-). I will try to post monday through friday but I make no guarntee, but the more comments that I recieve the more I will try to post. If I know someone is interested enough to read what I write then I will write as much as possible. I am also a closet nympho so from time to time you may find some x rated information if you don't like then don't read. So this is it for my first post will write more tomorrow.

Smooches,
Carmel Beauty