Thursday, July 31, 2008


I have spoken with hubby on several occasions. I know the reason for his insecurity, because that is exactly what it is. He had a previous relationship long term at the beginning of the relationship he worked in the city regular 8-5 job then after a couple of years he decided that he wanted to drive trucks. They discussed it he told them "her" that he would be driving out of town and asked if she could not handle him being away so much to end the relationship then and not wait until later. She advised that it would be fine and then 7 months of him being on the road later she couldn't take it anymore and ended the relationship via a dear john letter. So yeah he has trust issues, and I will admit that I do to and we have talked about it extensively and have a date to talk about it some more today. He claims he trusts me then we have a argument like Saturday and I know that he doesn't. Right now on his longer periods home is trying to find a job where he can stay home. Until then I know we have to work something out, because I just can't take this as is anymore.


You need to email me and tell me more about that 40 days of prayer, because I need it both me and my husband.


If you are looking for inspirational reading that uplifts your spirit andputs a sparkle in your day please visit SUPRINA's blog. She is having a 2 for 1 special and trust me the books are worth more than she is asking you to pay for them. Despite all of the drama currently in my marriage she has given me a lot of insight into how to make my marriage better.


Carmel Beauty

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Gimme a Break!

As I was posting last night in a frenzy because I was pissed at the hubby and wanted to tell yall all about it and get some advice. I was just finishing the last sentence my daughter my lovely angel comes up to me and closes my screen. How she figured out how to do this at 22 months is beyond me so I ddin't feel like retyping all for the info.

Anywhoo the chick got the job and I knew would happen it hurt for a day and I will probably never be happy with how the situation turned out, but I am over it.

Okay on to me and my husband. Bottom line is he doesn't trust me and it has gotten worse since we have been married. It is to the point now where I feel like I have to guard my words for fear he will interpret the wrong thing form something i have said. I know I can't make him trust me and truly i don't even what to so how do I end the drama in our lives other then divorce. I refuse to get a divorce, but him not trusting me is a BIG deal..

I will give you an example of his level of mistrust: Just a little background info first my husband works driving trust and is only home 3 weekends 3 a month. So this was his work weekend. i told him I was going to get my hair done and it would take approx. 6 to 61/2 hours. My husband loves me to wear my hair in a wrap style, but sometimes I like something different so I decided I wanted to get some micro's (anybody who has ever had them before knows they can take anywhere from 6 to 13 hours depending on how fast the person braids and how small they are and how big your head is) Now I told my hubby three days before I was set to get my hair done that I was getting my hair done by someone i didn't personally know but I had seen her work and knew you would be able to do what I want at a reasonable price. Hubby came up with all types of excuses for why he didn't think I should have my hair done by her. (i.e. I don't know her, back part of town, she could have traffic in and out of her house, boyfriend could be running drugs, etc. ) I told him I had my mother check it out, because I knew the girl through on of her friends and I was going anyway. He accepted this with much attitude. Okay Saturday gets here and he calls 3 times in the space of 4 hours. After about six hours into my hairdo T asks me what time it is I pull out my phone and it has turned off. So I turn it back on and immediately it is ringing. He is cussing me out talking about it doesn't take this long to get hair done, and I am having sex with some nigga, I didn't have to lie, and so and and so forth. All the while the phone is hanging up because the battery is dead. Finally I cut the phone off on my own and when she finishes my hair and I leave I turn it back on. He calls this time apologizes saying he thought about it and I must be getting Micro's and why didn't I tell him like the whole incident was my fault.

Since then things between us have been strained to say the least. I am just at the point where I just don't know what to do. We have only been together 3 months, but I think we ( as in him) need to have counseling. Our marriage is not going to handle the strain of another incident like this.

Question of the day: HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Carmel Beauty

Monday, July 21, 2008


Have you ever noticed that when you are waiting on something that you really want time seems to stand still at a pace that even a turtle could surpass? On the other hand when you are having the most fun in your life it all seems to go by so quickly most of it seems to be a blur of never-ending activity. Well right now waiting to hear about this job is killing me. I want a decision ASAP so that I can move on with my life. Even though I am 85% positive I am not going to get the job, it is hard to shake that 15% because I really want it. Since the possiablility still lingers that I can get the position it is making it hard for me to forget about it and concentrate on more important things.

In other news I am very angry someone has stolen my daughter's earrings out of her ears. The reason I know this is because they are the safety earrings that she can't take out even if she wanted to and they are missing. I can't believe someone would steal from a child of 22 months what in the world is this world coming to. It pisses me off and If I happen to find the person he had the audacity to steal from my baby I will beat the shit out of them and deal with the consequences later. It's not like they were expensive, but it is the principal of the issue.

Well this is the end of my post because I really didn't have time to write this but I needed to share my frustration.


Carmel Beauty

Monday, July 14, 2008

Tell me what you think

Hey fellow bloggers,

I have been speaking about a job that I have applied for here in my current section. Anywho I had an interview last week Tuesday. I went into the interview knowing that most likely I would not get the position. I am not quite qualified yet, but I still had high hopes because I am the only inside person applying for the position and I am very talented (I am humble but since you really don't know me I have to tell it like it is so you can understand where I am coming from) smart and ambitious. So I went to the interview and it went good for the most part then came the end of the interview. I was interviewed by my current supervisor. So he said this " I don't want you to be discouraged if you don't get the job. I understand that you want something with more of a challenge and in the next coming weeks we have several positions that are coming open that may be more suited to your level of experience. I also wanted to let you know that I have recognized all of the hard work you have put in. I love the level of imitative that you have shown and hope to be able to reward you with a monetary increase in the near future. You are one of the top two or three people that I feel deserve an increase and I plan to do what I can to get you one. " Now of course this was not word for word but it is basically what he said. So I took it to mean that I did not get the job.

In other news my angel is allergic to mosquitoes. It is itching her so bad she has already been to the doctor twice. What is a mother to do when her baby is hurting? My husband and grandmother are making progress. She is talking about him again and speaking to him. Also yesterday at church (we haven't picked a church home yet, but we go to both of our parents churches for the time being) the past prayed for us and took time out to talk about some problems we have been going through (not with our marriage) and it really helped us both.

Question of the day: From what I told you what do you think about my chances of getting the job?


Carmel Beauty