THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE HORRIBLE

Where is a girl to start? I guess I will start with the horrible first and just go ahead and get it out of the way. On Friday December 12, 2008 I miscarried. This has not been an easy holiday for me. I wasn't sure if we would be able to handle another baby right now, but I was forming plans seeing problems and coming up with solutions and I was starting to feel better about it. I was really feeling like me and my hubby could do it. Apparently I was very wrong. I am really just going through the motions lately, and can cry at the drop of a hat, or just blank out. I took some time off from work. My boss and his wife just recently went through a miscarriage to so he was very understanding. I was only 9weeks. Everybody keeps saying what they think I need to hear and it honestly is pissing me off. I am angry that only my husband understands a little of what I feel and nobody else understands at all. I mean to me it's like I lost my child a death in the family I know it should not have been a funeral or anything , but I feel like I need some kind of closeure. Anywho, the good a while back I told everybody that my husband and I were going through a very hard situation that was causing a lot of problems in our family well it has finally been resolved. So that is one less headache for us both and for that I am truly thankful.

Okay now on to the BAD. I may just be trippin' it is possible, because I still have a lot of hormones running through my body. I just have this feeling that something is just not right we my hubby and I. I guess it could have something to do with the miscarriage, but we just aren't clicking and I don't know what to do to get "us" back.

Question of the day: Would you read a significant other's or spouses diary, and then get mad about some explicit things that your read?

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

What's going on?

Okay Everyone,

Yeah I know I have been MIA, but a lot has been going on and it looks as though it may get even more crazy in the next couple of months. For instance, I got the job which is exactly what I have been wanting and def needing.

In other news I am pregnant. I have only told my husband who couldn't keep his big mouth shut and decided to tell his mother and sister.

Well with me being a new mother soon and all the stress at work I have been a BITCH to my husband. He was home for the holidays and just went back on the road a little while ago. She I am the one at home I of course am in charge of paying the bills will with our car insurance I was $50 off from the amount we had to pay and what I set aside to pay. Which means that I have $30 to last until my next payday which is not until the 23rd of this month. We both only get paid once a month so this is going to be a very hard month.

Anywho, I have been trying to control my anger and have not been doing very well. I am worried with the economy things in our household have been very tight. My daughter has also not been very happy lately. She recently turned turned 2years so as you can imagine she is going through the terrible two's.



Question of the day: " How do you apologize when you don't want to?"


Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

Response

I have spoken with hubby on several occasions. I know the reason for his insecurity, because that is exactly what it is. He had a previous relationship long term at the beginning of the relationship he worked in the city regular 8-5 job then after a couple of years he decided that he wanted to drive trucks. They discussed it he told them "her" that he would be driving out of town and asked if she could not handle him being away so much to end the relationship then and not wait until later. She advised that it would be fine and then 7 months of him being on the road later she couldn't take it anymore and ended the relationship via a dear john letter. So yeah he has trust issues, and I will admit that I do to and we have talked about it extensively and have a date to talk about it some more today. He claims he trusts me then we have a argument like Saturday and I know that he doesn't. Right now on his longer periods home is trying to find a job where he can stay home. Until then I know we have to work something out, because I just can't take this as is anymore.

Suprina,

You need to email me and tell me more about that 40 days of prayer, because I need it both me and my husband.

Everybody,

If you are looking for inspirational reading that uplifts your spirit andputs a sparkle in your day please visit SUPRINA's blog. She is having a 2 for 1 special and trust me the books are worth more than she is asking you to pay for them. Despite all of the drama currently in my marriage she has given me a lot of insight into how to make my marriage better.

Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

Gimme a Break!

As I was posting last night in a frenzy because I was pissed at the hubby and wanted to tell yall all about it and get some advice. I was just finishing the last sentence my daughter my lovely angel comes up to me and closes my screen. How she figured out how to do this at 22 months is beyond me so I ddin't feel like retyping all for the info.

Anywhoo the chick got the job and I knew would happen it hurt for a day and I will probably never be happy with how the situation turned out, but I am over it.

Okay on to me and my husband. Bottom line is he doesn't trust me and it has gotten worse since we have been married. It is to the point now where I feel like I have to guard my words for fear he will interpret the wrong thing form something i have said. I know I can't make him trust me and truly i don't even what to so how do I end the drama in our lives other then divorce. I refuse to get a divorce, but him not trusting me is a BIG deal..

I will give you an example of his level of mistrust: Just a little background info first my husband works driving trust and is only home 3 weekends 3 a month. So this was his work weekend. i told him I was going to get my hair done and it would take approx. 6 to 61/2 hours. My husband loves me to wear my hair in a wrap style, but sometimes I like something different so I decided I wanted to get some micro's (anybody who has ever had them before knows they can take anywhere from 6 to 13 hours depending on how fast the person braids and how small they are and how big your head is) Now I told my hubby three days before I was set to get my hair done that I was getting my hair done by someone i didn't personally know but I had seen her work and knew you would be able to do what I want at a reasonable price. Hubby came up with all types of excuses for why he didn't think I should have my hair done by her. (i.e. I don't know her, back part of town, she could have traffic in and out of her house, boyfriend could be running drugs, etc. ) I told him I had my mother check it out, because I knew the girl through on of her friends and I was going anyway. He accepted this with much attitude. Okay Saturday gets here and he calls 3 times in the space of 4 hours. After about six hours into my hairdo T asks me what time it is I pull out my phone and it has turned off. So I turn it back on and immediately it is ringing. He is cussing me out talking about it doesn't take this long to get hair done, and I am having sex with some nigga, I didn't have to lie, and so and and so forth. All the while the phone is hanging up because the battery is dead. Finally I cut the phone off on my own and when she finishes my hair and I leave I turn it back on. He calls this time apologizes saying he thought about it and I must be getting Micro's and why didn't I tell him like the whole incident was my fault.

Since then things between us have been strained to say the least. I am just at the point where I just don't know what to do. We have only been together 3 months, but I think we ( as in him) need to have counseling. Our marriage is not going to handle the strain of another incident like this.

Question of the day: HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

TIME!

Have you ever noticed that when you are waiting on something that you really want time seems to stand still at a pace that even a turtle could surpass? On the other hand when you are having the most fun in your life it all seems to go by so quickly most of it seems to be a blur of never-ending activity. Well right now waiting to hear about this job is killing me. I want a decision ASAP so that I can move on with my life. Even though I am 85% positive I am not going to get the job, it is hard to shake that 15% because I really want it. Since the possiablility still lingers that I can get the position it is making it hard for me to forget about it and concentrate on more important things.

In other news I am very angry someone has stolen my daughter's earrings out of her ears. The reason I know this is because they are the safety earrings that she can't take out even if she wanted to and they are missing. I can't believe someone would steal from a child of 22 months what in the world is this world coming to. It pisses me off and If I happen to find the person he had the audacity to steal from my baby I will beat the shit out of them and deal with the consequences later. It's not like they were expensive, but it is the principal of the issue.

Well this is the end of my post because I really didn't have time to write this but I needed to share my frustration.


Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

Tell me what you think

Hey fellow bloggers,


I have been speaking about a job that I have applied for here in my current section. Anywho I had an interview last week Tuesday. I went into the interview knowing that most likely I would not get the position. I am not quite qualified yet, but I still had high hopes because I am the only inside person applying for the position and I am very talented (I am humble but since you really don't know me I have to tell it like it is so you can understand where I am coming from) smart and ambitious. So I went to the interview and it went good for the most part then came the end of the interview. I was interviewed by my current supervisor. So he said this " I don't want you to be discouraged if you don't get the job. I understand that you want something with more of a challenge and in the next coming weeks we have several positions that are coming open that may be more suited to your level of experience. I also wanted to let you know that I have recognized all of the hard work you have put in. I love the level of imitative that you have shown and hope to be able to reward you with a monetary increase in the near future. You are one of the top two or three people that I feel deserve an increase and I plan to do what I can to get you one. " Now of course this was not word for word but it is basically what he said. So I took it to mean that I did not get the job.

In other news my angel is allergic to mosquitoes. It is itching her so bad she has already been to the doctor twice. What is a mother to do when her baby is hurting? My husband and grandmother are making progress. She is talking about him again and speaking to him. Also yesterday at church (we haven't picked a church home yet, but we go to both of our parents churches for the time being) the past prayed for us and took time out to talk about some problems we have been going through (not with our marriage) and it really helped us both.


Question of the day: From what I told you what do you think about my chances of getting the job?


Smooches,

Carmel Beauty

SUP?

I have had a very interesting weekend. The most important thing that happened is that my brother graduated from high school, it was very exciting, and also a little sad. As most of you know if you have been reading my blog my grandfather was killed last year, and he and my brother were very close. It was very hard on him because he was like a father to him me too for that matter. As you can imagine not having him there for this time was very heartbreaking. My brother goes to a small school only 13 graduates so when all the kids went up to get there diploma they got approx 2minutes of a pre-recorded speech they could give, and my brother spoke about our grandfather. There was not a dry eye in the house. Everybody was crying. Like I said it was sad, but good. I am so proud of him he just recently got he first job, because he had so many after school activies he has never had a job before so this is a big step for him. I just feel like he has so much promise right now and can't wait to see how his future turns out.

In other news I have been working my but off at work. I have been there two Saturdays in a row. There are several reasons for this.

1. I have applied for a job, for which I really want. It would be a 30% percent increase in pay. So not only do I want it we need it with the price of gas.
2. I want to challenge myself more at work. I have been doing everything possible to obtain more skills to make myself more marketable. When I get bored I tend to leave my job, and not only am I bored, but I am not liking the office politics.
3. I am a type A personality, and the people at my job are lazy so the work that is falling by the way side I have been doing and I love the extra praise it is giving me.

While most of these are good reasons it has made me sort of a grouch, because I am tired. I also know that even though I am doing all this extra work I may not end up with this job and that will really piss me off and hurt my feelings. I know I am really sensitive you don't have to tell me :-) As I am sure you can imagine my new attitude is not to my husband's liking so I will have to work on that can't have a tiff just yet I am enjoying all of this honeymoon sex. :-)

Last but not least my grandmother and I are making progress. She is still not speaking to my husband, but we are getting along so that gives me hope that eventually everything will be as close to okay as it can be.

I guess I will stop boring you with my life.

Question of the day: How can you tell that all your hard work is for nothing?

SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

P.S. HEY EVERYBODY I FIGURED YALL THOUGHT I WAS GONE BUT GLAD YOU ARE BACK. I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE MIKE AND KYRA I BELIEVE IT WILL ONLY TAKE ABOUT ONE MAYBE TWO MORE POSTS TO FINISH. WEEKENDS, I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR BLOG, I HAVE JUST BEEN TOO LAZY TO COMMENT.

MIKE & KYRA PART VIII

Kyra then jumps into the driver's seat and backs up in a mad dash to get away. As she is pulling off Mike tells her to stop he suddenly sees B coming out of the house running towards the car. B then jumps into the back seat and Kyra pulls out onto the main road as quick as she can. "Yo Mike can you do me a favor, hand me the first aid kit under the passenger side seat? B said. Mike turns around and looks at B when he hands him the first aid kit and notices the blood on his leg. "Man you been shot we have got to get you to a hospital." Mike says this while trying to direct Kyra to the closest hospital using hand signals. "No Mike I don't need a hospital that is the first place they will send someone looking for us anyway. It's just a flesh wound. " B said. "Just drive we need to dump this car and get another one apparently I did not loose that car following us like I thought we did." B said this while picking up his cell phone and dialing the only person he could trust. It was the only person beside Kyra that he has know for as long as he could remember.

"Dom look I need a favor quick fast and in a hurry where you at?" as he pauses in the conversation he begins to write down directions to the location of Dominic. "Okay we will be there in like 20minutes. Kyra these are the directions. Don't go too fast though cause the police are Hot like fire in this area. Mike we have got to keep an eye out for anyone following us. Bringing heat to Dom's place can get everyone killed. That nigga don't play." While B/Jackson was talking he was cleaning his wound as much as possible with the supplies he had. The bullet had went on the outside of his skin, but the blood had already stopped.

"Okay B since you don't have to concentrate on the road how about you start telling us what is going on?" mike said he did really want to know what was going on, but he wanted to make sure that B was okay whatever his game was he was apparently not trying to hurt either him or Kyra. "Alright man, look I have known Kyra since we were little she came to me about you and told me what was going on. I know yall thought that her stepfather was dead, but as you can see he is not. When she told me how you helped her out I was glad, because that was one sick nigga. I wanted to kill him myself, but you got to him first. Plus Kyra didn't really tell me everything he was doing till after the fact. Anyway you know that I met you on the bust you did about 2 years ago. At the time I did not know who you were, but since you seemed cool and I could tell you had a lot of connects well I just figured it would be a good idea to be friends with you. Being in the FBI drug division the connects you have are sure to come in handy again. Once I realized who you were I really wanted to make sure to get to know you better. When you came to me with that shit you wanted to do to Kyra I realized that the only way to stop you was to "help" you. I had already been helping Kyra she told me why she wanted out even though she still thinks that you love her. The only reason you are here is because I haven't had time to kill you yet, but trust if you even think about hurting Kyra the way you have been over the last couple of months I will kill you and trust me YOU will be DEAD when I get finished with you. Just to let you know I haven't told Kyra yet, but I know where you little extra dough is coming from partna." As Jackson finished explaining his self he set back on the seat cushions even though the injury wasn't life threatening it still hurt like hell.

"Look Jackson, I know I have been wrong okay I knew that when I realized what daddy dearest was doing, but I have changed my ways. I also know that neither you nor Kyra will believe me, but I hope Kyra will at least give me a chance to prove myself. Kyra baby you don't look to good are you okay? Mike said while looking at Kyra who looked like she was about to be sick. Then Jackson got a chance to get a good look at her and noticed that she really did look bad. "I haven't been feeling well for a while and all this excitement has not been making it better Mike I am going to pull over to the side of the road so you can drive. Just as she pulled over she barely had time to open the door before everything she had eaten this morning was on the side of the road. Mike was gently rubbing her back and holding her hair thinking to himself. Damn Kyra has never been sensitive even when we thought we killed her stepfather she took it like a champ. I know she is pregnant now and I have to get her and our baby to a safe place. As Kyra finally felt certain that she was finished emptying her belly she began to slide out of the car into the passenger seat while Mike helped her. If this fool ever finds out I am pregnant he will never leave me alone. I just don't think I can trust him ever again. I have got to keep this pregnancy a secret. Now how am I going to do that .......


Words of the day: I have a hard enough time posting the story so my proofreading sucks. I know hope you enjoy.


SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

MIKE & KYRA PART VII

After hearing the door open and close, suddenly Mike and Kyra hear someone whispers Kyra. Kyra looked out from behind the bed and saw that it was Jackson before Mike could stop her she was alerting Jackson as to their presence. “Jackson thank God it’s you, please tell me you have a way for us to get out of here.” Kyra said.

As Mike heard Jackson speak he realized he heard that voice before climbing out from under the bed he finally got a good look at Jackson and realized that he had been double-crossed. “What the fuck why is she calling you Jackson B?” Mike said. “What is really going on here?” “How do you know him Kyra?” Mike said that while pacing the room. He was made as hell.

“Look Mike and Kyra I can explain, but right now we don’t have much time we need to get out of here fast.” said B/Jackson. “I put some of those nigga’s to sleep, but some of them will be waking up soon.” B then began to rush both Mike and Kyra out of the room. He went out the door first looking to the left then right to make sure nobody was in the hallway. After making sure he didn’t see anyone he gave a gun to both Mike and Kyra. They finally made it out to Jackson/B’s car and before Mike had closed the door good the car was off and running. Unfortunately, they did not see the car that was following behind them.

“Yo call the boss man tell him where we are let him know that we are following that bitch.” said Mikey. Mico then picked up the phone and called the boss letting him know they were following the girl. “Well you better not lose her because if you do you better make sure you can disappear because if you don’t and I find you, you will be dead.” boss man said before hanging up the phone.

“B, trust you have a lot of explaining to do, but in the mean time tell me where are we going?” said Mike. “To a safe house, it is the only place that I can keep you safe.” said Jackson/b. “I don’t trust you to do shit for me, I need you to take me and Kyra to my car and I will get us to safety.” while talking was getting more and more upset, finally he takes his gun out and points it at Jackson/ B’s head.

Moving Mike’s hand wrestling with him with the gun Kyra screams “Both of yall need to call down we are being followed. Now is not the time for all the drama. I think it is the guys that kidnapped me from work.”
Jackson/B then proceeds to try to lose there followers. After 1 hour of weaving in and out of traffic going down one lane streets and going outrageous speeds they finally lose there followers and end up at the safe house. “Yall, wait in the car I’m going to check the house out.” B/Jackson said while getting out the car. Just as Jackson/B gets into the house shots ring out….

MIKE & KYRA PART VI

" Look just tell me what the Fuck you want so we can leave. I hate your ass always have always will. I will never understand what made my mom stay with you, but I can't even stand the sight of you." Kyra said while trying to wake Mike up.

"Look Bitch I thought you got the point the first time you are not leaving here unless it is in a body bag. " Black said while lighting his blunt. "I just need one thing for you or you would already be dead.

"What makes you think that I would give you anything especially if I know you are going to kill me anyway?" Kyra was finally successful in waking up Mike while talking with Black. Using pressure on his arm she tried to convince him to pretend to be unconscious. I want us to live there has got to be away out of this situation. My baby shouldn't die, because I made a mistake. How is this motherfucker still alive. I shot his ass more then Tupac.

"Your going to help me because I have an incentive, something that I know you will die for." "Yo cricket bring in the surprise. This bitch probably still think she will be saved. " Black then began to pace waiting on cricket to come. After a couple of minutes passed and he did not hear cricket coming he called on his walkie talkie, but did not receive a response. What the fuck I can't reach anybody. Cricket, taj, keisha, jay, balls. Fuck, fuck, fuck. "I be right back." Black said as he was walking out the room. He then closed and locked the door behind him.

"Mike baby are you okay can you stand are you hurt?" Kyra said while trying to look him over for any injuries.

"I'm fine just a little dizzy, I'll be okay in a minute. " "So what is going on I was there that motherfucker should be dead." I can't believe what I almost did to Krya in a way I am glad that this happened to stop me from kidnapping her. I love her, but her bitch ass daddy is just the reminder that I needed that that love needs to be mutual. It will definitely be hard to let her go though. Damn she might be pregnant. How in the world am I going to tell her that?

"Mike I know he locked the door, but I am not sure that is the only way out. You see that window up there. I know it is kinda far, but I think we can make it. Do you think you can make it?" Kyra said while trying to position furniture near the window so that they can claim up and out the window.

"Yeah I am fine now once we get up how do we get down on the other side?" Mike said. "I know we are at least on the second floor. How about instead of going out the window we make it look like we did and ambush them when they come back into the room." If we do make it out of this alive I don't want to do anything that will endanger our child.

"Okay we can do it your way, because we are actually on the third floor so that is too high to jump. Help me move the furniture. "

As they were just getting everything in place they heard someone coming they both began to pray knowing that if this didn't work all three of them could be dead.


SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

My Grandmother!

In order to talk about the present I have to explain a little about my past. I was raised by my grandmother mostly I went to live with my mothers mother at the age of about 4. She has raised me and my brother. I love her to death. I live with her till about age 11 then I moved in with my father's mother. Then back to my mother. It was a lot of moving, but the place that felt like the most home and was the most stable was with my grandmother. She loves me I know and I love her too, but do to all of the disappointments she has had in her life she is very very very much a controlling person. As you can guess my grandmother and I are closer then her other grandchildren I'm not a favorite, but we spend more time together and act more like mother and daughter. For the most part it is a good relationship, but when I happen to do something that she doesn't like well then she uses her money to try to control the situation.

Anywho now to the present. My husband and I got married at the justice of the peace Grandma did not like that she wanted us to marry in a church on a date of her choosing. So because of this she is writing me out of her Will. Truly I don't care about the money it's the principle, she believes that I have made a bad decision at this point I believe that she wants me to have a bad marriage. Her words were she will never mention my marriage again, whether it be bad or good. I know I should leave it alone and I will, but I have always sought this women's approval and it just never seems like I get it. I know she is upset about the how and when, but it's done. I just needed to talk about the situation. It did make me feel a little better, I guess it was just to much to ask for a happy family.

Question of the day: Can you divorce your whole family then court another? Do you think one day we should be able to pick our parents?


SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

PISSED!!

Okay first things first I passed both of my classes, but I wish I had done better in my Accounting class. I mean I passed with a C but I have always been a A/B student plus I am a type A personality so a C just doesn't sit well with me. I did get a A- in my public speaking class so that made me feel a little bit better.

Second I did get most of my money, but not all and now you guessed it I am broke. I mean literally. All my bills are paid, but I need some money.

Third I HATE MY JOB. One of the people I work with is leaving for a different job and I want her job. I should have the first choice, because I have the time on the job since I have been there for a while. She is a temp a new temp at that so why is my supervisor training her to do the job. I mean taking her to meeting and having her work with the girl that is leaving giving her the information to do the job. I think it is completely unfair that he is doing this. I want/need this job. I have worked my ass off for over two years at this job and this is the thanks that I get.

Anywhoo I have to VOTE tomorrow can't wait. Nothing exciting to say married life is a little boring but a good boring. I love my husband so much.

Question of the day: How long does it take for the newness to wear off? I hope never I am already looking into things to keep it juicy as little Wayne would say.


SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

PAY DAY! MAYBE?

I get paid once a month it is always seems to take forever for me to get paid. This month we are using a new payroll system different departments were placed on this system at different times and well it has been a disaster at least the first couple of months. I tell you this to say that I will and I mean will go the FUCK off if my money is not in my account in the next 53 minutes. Yes I am up at 11:07pm and will be up till 12am just to make sure my money is deposited as it should. See I am one very broke sister. No matter how much we budget throughout the month with the price of everything and I do mean everything raising it never seems to make it past the third sometimes second week of the month. Just pray for me as I will for you because our economy sucks and is getting worse by the day.

Anywhoo, I hope everyone is going to vote no matter who you are voting for please please VOTE!!!.


QUESTION OF THE DAY: I am only 27 years old and I find myself thinking of the past as the better times. So I am wondering like me do you miss things like the Cosby show, the wonder years, saved by the bell, gas at approx $1.50 a gallon, salt n' pepa, and just a simpler time when you didn't have to decide food or gas?



SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

Test!

So lately I feel like my life is one big test. I was recently married and now I feel like I am being tested on whether or not I can be a good wife. This test is not coming from my husband, but from his family and mine. Then he is being tested of course to make sure he will be a good husband. I wonder is this an ongoings test that you only pass after death or at some point do they trust you.

My other test well this is my last week at school for this semester. So I had a test today and my last one is on Wednesday. School has been kicking my butt. I mean being a mom is a 24/7 all by itself add work, husband, me time and well I am tired. It has been worth it though, because in the end I will be able to get a much better paying job.

In other news my job is still crazy Dory has an assistant now and she is basically doing all of her work. Dory might as well stay home for all the work she does. People are leaving left and right at my job in the last year alone I believe that of a crew of 15 we have lost 5 people. Ah well some are missed, if only because there replacement SUCKS!!!!

Now to the down side to my recent marriage me and him are actually doing better than ever, but my grandmother is Highly upset by our union. We eloped and she was not happy about that. I tired to explain that it was about us and we didn't want to wait any longer. She is barely speaking to me and that kind of hurts my feelings. She has always been controlling and judgemental, but since the death of my grandfather it has gotten worse. I think he mellowed her out a little. Hopefully she calms down a little.

Question of the day: How do you deal with your in-laws or your significant others family? I ask because my husbands sister is a BITCH and I a
m trying not to kick her ass. Help!!!

HEY BARNEY


SMOOCHES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

MIA!!

I know that probably nobody even reads my blog now since I have been MIA for a very long time, but between work, school, my angel, and STBH I just haven't had a chance to blog. I have been keeping up with other people's blogs though so I have stayed in the no. Well today I have big news for everybody. Drum roll please



STBH and I are getting MARRIED. Yeah!!! I am excited, nervous, and READY. The butterflies are going to kill me seriously. My work Mom just had me list all the reasons why we want to get married and it kind of had me teary eyed because we have been through so much and to finally get to this point. It has been amazing.

In other news their is a position coming open at my job. I want it really bad, but my supervisor is the type to have someone he thinks should have the position and just go with them. That's what he did for me. :-) It was good then, but it may not work out so well for me now. It would be a nice increase though if I could get it. I hope so cause I need it.

School will be over next week. I have a final on Monday then one on Wednesday and then no more until August. I def need the break. Right now I am just so ready to leave work. I am suppose to leave at 3:30pm to go get ready for our 6pm ceremony, but time is going by so slow. I feel like it is going backwards.

Question of the day: So to all the married/divorced people out there how did you feel on your
wedding day?


Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty

YES WE CAN!!!!!!

I was interested in the race of 2004. I was ready for change, but I was not sure of the candiates that we were offered. I am involved in the race of 2008 becasue we NEED change. Our future looks bleak. The current president has not made a change for this nation that we so desperately need. I believe that Obama can. I have not felt so passionate about a person/candiate before. I have never believed as much as I do now that he can make a change for our country if elected. I have links below to serveral different websites that will give you more information on this candiate. I understand others may feel passionate about another canidate which is fine. I really believe though no matter who your canidate is you need to VOTE we will not be heard until we make ourselves heard. One nation, one voice, YES WE CAN!!!

YES WE CAN SONG

BARAK OBAMA WEBSITE

REASEARCH, MAKE A GOOD DECISION FOR YOU, THEN PLEASE PLEASE VOTE!!

EVERY VOTE COUNTS!!

SMOOCHIES,

CARMEL BEAUTY

It's been a while. Did you miss me?

I hope you did cause I missed all of you. I have been checking other blogs all the time. Especially Sylvia Hubbard's blog. I just recently got internet at home and will be able to post more becuase big brother is watching at work. They have installed camera and everything. I am also a part time student. So with the baby, STBH, work and school I am completly busy. I will try to write soon.

Question of the day: Have you been keeping up with the primary? If so what are your thoughts? I am a democrat and I really want Obama, but am afraid that America will not elect an african-american president. I guess I just want to hear from the people out in blog land about what there opinions on the subject are.

Some Closure

The BOY who killed my grandfather has been arrested today. He was only 16 years old, and in the 9th grade. I just don't understand what the world is coming to. I don't even know how to feel. I am not happy, because it does not bring my grandfather back.

Praying for Strength,

Carmel Beauty

Hello All!

First and foremost please please go to Sylvia Hubbard's website and read her new live story. It is good. She has a way of making you fall in love with the people. Read it it is good I promise.

Second, well I know I was suppose to finish Mike and Kyra's story and I will soon I promise life has just been so hectic. I will get to it though really soon.

Third, yesterday me and my STBH had an amazing day. It was perfect as days go. I haven't been that happy in a long time. With all the drama going on in my life recently I needed that. We weren't doing anything spectacular by any means, but the moments in time to me are priceless. I just wanted to tell the world that I am going to marry the best man in the world for me. We have problems, but when it comes down to the come down we got each other's back. Love is priceless if you are fortunate enough to have it hold on to it and never let it go.

Smoochies,

Carmel Beauty