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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Polling the People

Hello All,

Okay today I am going to throw some questions at yall to see what kind of responses that I get if any because I believe we have not been found out in the blogging world yet but here goes. This morning I was listening to the Russ Par Morning Show, and they had an email from a man requesting help. One Sunday the man was in Church his pastor preached on homosexuality and how it was an abomination. Now the preacher then proceeded to out the man in front of the whole church. He of course felt this was wrong and wanted to know if he could out the preacher in the same manner because he heard through the grapevine that he has male "friends" to. So one of my questions today is should he or shouldn't he out the pastor?

My view:

My thought is he should not out the pastor so to speak, but he should make it be known to the whole congregation that he felt that what the pastor did was just wrong and uncalled for. This man may have been touched in his heart if the pastor had preached in a different way so as not to insult him but to give him information. I have found that constructive criticism goes a lot farther then hate. To me that is what is was. There was nothing productive about what the pastor did and I wouldn't even be able to go to a church where this is how my pastor tried to reach his flock. You never know what he will be talking about next or for that matter who he will be talking about. People in glass houses should not throw stones and nobody is without sin. Just my thoughts on the subject.

Okay my next question is concerning relationships. My fiancee and I were talking last night and we ended up on the subject of sex. I gotta give a little background information for this question to make sense. Me and my man were friends before we became lovers. I was celibate for 11 months by choice about 2months before I met my man. At the time that we met I was dating boy (literally he was a boy very small little man if you know what I mean) so my man was aware of boy knew we were dating knew we had sex a couple of times, and all that. So anyway last night we were talking about my celibacy and he then proceeded to ask if he was my first after my 11month drought. I told him the truth a truth which mind you, he already knew. So my man proceeded to get upset that I told him this. My questions are why (since he already knew), should I have not told him? I guess I could have just not answered the question but if I had said yes you were my first he would have called me a liar it was a no end situation damned if I do damned if I don't.

SOS,
Carmel Beauty

8 comments:

Sylvia Hubbard said...

I often was told and I tell my kids, people often hurt you because they are jealous of you.

In this regards, sometimes - even though it is hard, you have to turn the other cheek and walk away.

The preacher was wrong in his own duty as a preacher to "out" this man like that and the "gay man" shouldn't stoop to the preacher's level.

Just my opinon on the situation.

Great blog gurls!

mum said...

Regarding the preacher...shame on him. Judge not lest ye be judged. Embarrassment and humiliation are not effective ways to preach the gospel..sorry.

If your man already knew the answer, why did he ask the question? Why do we do things like that? We know the answer, we don't like the answer, but we still need confirmation. It's crazy!

Good luck with the blog, I'll keep checking back.

mum

Anonymous said...

The pastor is so wrong, sometimes people just dont know what to say. My mom always told me if you have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all.

But the guy needs not reply some things in life are hard, but just take it as a learning lesson and know for next time.

Your man situation, I have this similar problem. We have split and I was the one that called it off for I just want more than I think he can give, and every day God gives this man, must ask me how I feel or Do I think it wil work. Men just love to get their egos crushed. One day they will learn, some things are better not said!

Weekends Off said...

The preacher was in the wrong, I wonder how many others in his flock are at risk of being made an example? Who knows how this might effect the mans life. What if he hadn't came out yet? What if his community is small and everyone knows everyone...it could effect his job.

I'd report him to someone in the church surely there is someone in charge over the priest. At the very least the preacher needs to know this is not OK and he needs to appologize to the man.


As far as your man goes, what was he even thinking asking you that? Did he need an ego stroke or something? My thoughts are this, Share enough so that they know you understand the rules of the game and that's it. They don't need to know the individual players or details on how things went down.

Anonymous said...

The pastor was in the wrong, he should not have done that and shoud be ashamed of himself. The man who was "outed" should be the bigger man and let it pass. You are right, nothing will be gained from it. He will be respected if he just lets it go.

As for the sex with boy thing. Your man should not have asked the question if he can't handle the truth. You say he knew, so why ask?

april said...

Is it not said in the church that no one is to judge? Regardless if the preacher and other members of any church feel that homosexuality is wrong, it's not their position to judge someone based on their sexual preference or any reason for that matter. It's just unbiblical and immoral. And I agree with Sylivia, the man should not stoop to the preachers level. I tell my son all of the time, "Be the bigger man."

I often listen to the Russ Parr morning show, but I've been trying to stop. Why? Because there are so many topics that they discuss which I (as a white woman) can relate to, but they make it a racial issue. They're not sensitive to the fact that not only African-American people listen to their show and not everything is a racial issue. I also believe that by making everything a racial issue, it's a contribution to racial separation. We're all equal and many of us endure the same problems regardless of our race. But that's getting of the topic. Sorry.

Great blog!!

Shayneele said...

I totally think the preacher was wrong for that. I don't even think its any of his business. I guess that is just my point of view. as for your boyfriend why would he even ask if he knew the answer.. Its like a test you can't win. dumb....

Great blog keep up the good work!

Izzy said...

Girl, there's no way to make a man happy. Next time, tell any man who asks if he's willing to share his sexual escapades from before with you. Otherwise, tell him what's past is past, and you should all concentrate on the here and now...